What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? The Holocaust.

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Why don't aliens eat clowns? Because they taste funny.

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My dad

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when the zombie apocolypse comes what do you do? you die

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Why did the plane crash? Because he pilot was a loaf of bread

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Why couldn't the teen go to the prom? He was busy working to help his mom recover from breast cancer.

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My girlfriend says i cant finish a sentence properly dripping horse cum fetus rape.

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What happened to the little girl who fell into the lake? She was rescued and made a complete recovery.

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What more fun than a barrel full of monkeys? A barrel of dead babies

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The bartender says "We don't serve time travellers here". Two time travellers walk into a bar.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, why the long face. The horse replies, neigh.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? three-thirty.

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Wow Nero, you never explained the process, its like I am at the ocean again, but dont lie, you still fear showers... Sorry its just not you when you lie to me, I know I should be more concerned about you, ill bring those old stuff, im tired, sleepy, I suppose thats your work huh Nero? Thanks, call it as a brother or what you want, but I really love you and wont ever stop doing so. Goodnight Nerochan, promise me you will take care of yourself, we all got a long life ahead of us, and I want to spend more time with you, if its fine for you and your wife.

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A seal walks into a club.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist.

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A black guy and a white guy are walking down the sidewalk. As it suddenly begins to rain, what does the white guy say to the black guy? Nothing. They did not know each other.

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what did the man say to his wife? I love you

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What do you call a guy with no legs and no arms? Mat.

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2 penguins in a tub. one looks to the other an says, "pass the bar of soap." the other looks at him.."what do you think i am, a typewriter?"

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

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I asked my wife to make me a sandwich. I had forgotten she was dead.

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if life hands u melons, make melonade.

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Waiter, there is a hydrogen conducting carbon nanotube in my soup. That is part of the special, sir.

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Happy Birthday! Your mom is dead!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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