How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What do Chinese kids have that African kids dont? Chinese citizenship and at least one Chinese parent.

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People spending hours typing nothing but cus words? Who does that?

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Q. How can you tell if a snake bites? A. It depends on if he walks to school or carries his lunch.

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What's brown and sits in the woods? Winnie's poo

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Yo momma, she so fat, she needs to buy extra-large clothes.

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Who wants water? I do.

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It couldnt because a chicken was obscuring its path.

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How can you tell the person who stole your car was black? Stereotyping is wrong.

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Yo mama is so ugly that she won an award for that

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Why can't Stuart post a joke? Because he is using a giant iphone

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What's worse than a bag of dead babies? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Jews.

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ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE I LIKE TITS TITS

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Why couldn't the little boy see? His eyes were closed.

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Why was the fat girl a virgin? Good morals

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What are the biggest ants in the world? Ants under a magnifying glass.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven.

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What's red and smells like metal? A tricycle. It's covered in blood.

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Why cant white guys jump? Well that would be wrong because some can. Have you seen Blake Griffen?

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Mike: Hey Dave knock knock Dave: Come in!

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You: Want to hear a joke? Person: Yeah You: Me too

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A plane crashes in a polish cemetery the authorities have found 2000 bodies

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Don't you hate when you finger your belly button and your nipples exploed?

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I'm not saying my mother-in-law is fat, because she is anorexic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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