Q: Why could John say goodbye to his girlfriend ? A: He didnt have one

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what did the old man say to the older man? "hey".

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Whats black, blue, and red all over? A man who has just been severally beaten.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Your under arrest for drug trafficking and possession of illegal firearms. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say...

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Whats bright red and claws at the window? Baby in a microwave.

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What's more sad then a dumpster full of dead babies? The live one at the bottom.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What do you call an apple, an orange, and a pear in a bowl? Fruit

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Why did they chicken cross the road? It didn't. A van ran it over when it was halfway across.

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What is long, hard, cries a lot, and can't fall down a man-hole? A baby with a javelin through its neck.

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why do leprecon's laugh when they run through the grass? because it tickel's their balls

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What did the girl say before she jumped a bridge? "Do you think I can jump off this bridge?"

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What do you call a man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk? A man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk.

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Once a upon of time, cow said chicken go cluck. Years later, mustard was like a ketchup. I said it was good. Oh yea baby. It was a good day.

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Why did it take a long time to read the anti-joke? Because of the great amount of space between the question and the answer.

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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why did the students in 7/8 red try to commit suicide? they had miss harding as a teacher!

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Why was the black man driving a plane? because he was a pilot, you racist.

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So Joe Paterno doesn't walk into a police station....

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Q. What did the woman use for vaginal medication? A. Standard Strength Vagisil.

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How many new born babies does it take to cover the wall? Depends on how hard you throw'em

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What did the little boy get after falling and hitting his face on the ground? A prolonged nosebleed. And Leukemia.

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whats worse than the holocost, nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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