Why doesn't the farmer have a dog? He doesn't like dogs.

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?"i'm so turned on right now." - horny light bulb

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I want some pudding. but I didn't have my meat. how can I have pudding?

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What's green, three feet tall, and can live forever? Definitely not Julie Andrews.

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do you have snow in your vagina? because i am going to plow you

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KONY 2012! *world rises up cheering in spontaneous patriotism for Africa* Leader of KONY 2012 arrested for public masturbation

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Three men walk into a bar, one ducks and two fall down. What happened? They walked into a metal bar, like a sideways flagpole!

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Why cant i stand up? Cause i shat my pants

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You smell like ass, And no one loves you!

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Why is it hard to see a black man in the night? Because its dark out, and he's BLACK.

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What to hear an anti-joke? No.

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Why did Susan fall of the swing? She had no arms... Knock Knock... Who's there? Not Susan...

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple this joke.

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What does society have in common with laundry? They both get ruined when you mix colors with whites.

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Q:Why did the boy have no friends A: because Ants are not considered friends

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How do you wake up lady Gaga? You poke her face

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.Ttwo guys walked into a bar. The third one ducked.

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Did you hear about the blonde that crashed her car? No. Is she okay?

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Why do cats have nine lives? Because they don't have ten.

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You're such a retard, you have to take special education, live with a mother that doesn't know what to do with you, not understand the real world, and have people look at you strangely for the rest of your life.

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Knock Knock. (No answer) Knocker: " I guess the resident of this home isn't home at this hour."

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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Why a man without hands and without legs want to stay in a barrel? He actually doesn't, but is unable to get out of it.

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Regarding the "I will violate you, your children and your parent if you thumb me red" comment belo. I had a green thumb, I know because I gave it to myself because I am awesome... Now I got none... I person that this this, I cannot wait to X-mas where I will be violating them all, tell them, and as thus remind you that this was their Christmas present from you... Your friendly r*pist neighborhood Moral Man: Yes, I am your neigbor... I cant wait for slot number 24 on my christmas calendar... There is a picture of you and your family... Yummy!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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