why did jimmy stop eating his breakfast two Penn state officials knocked at the door

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Q. what is your favorite food? A. Chicken, burritos, sandwich, rice, hot dog, turkey, duck, carrot, broccoli, eggplant, apple, blueberry, pear, raspberry, blackberry, orange, grapes fries, chips, cheese, pretzels, worms, and candy canes.

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Its a long story, I got two balance nerves, I technically got four ear drums (relax you cant see it nor anything,neither can doctors without weird unpleasant stuff), I got about twice the number of synapses as regular people, and well, that makes me pretty damn good at some things, and a total retard at others.

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An Irish man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and notices he has a steering wheel stuck down the front of his pants. "Hey," he says, "What's with the steering wheel down your pants?" The Irish man looks down at it, dumbfounded. "I have absolutely no idea," he says, and removes it.

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when life gives you lemons, you should go to the hospital as you may have dyslexia

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Why did the clown have a heart attack? He had long term heart problems.

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Why was the Mexican lucky to have a job? Due to the failing economy, lack of available jobs, and amount of people getting laid off, it was considered lucky to have a job.

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I like trees. Trees hate you. Bye.

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Why did Stephen get an A on his test? He held his teacher at gunpoint and forced her to give him a good grade despite the fact he got an F.

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What's the difference between a duck and male black prostitute? The duck is says quack

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A man is mowing the lawn. The mower stops, so he reaches down to see if something's stuck in the blades. What does he pull out? His finger.

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How many tickles can you give an octopus? Ten tickles

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What did the father give to his daughter? AIDS.

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Q. What you call a Guy with no arms an no legs in the water? A. Bob

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At the Asthma hotline. Caller: Aahhh aahhh *gasp* *gasp* I need you... Woman: *slams phone* DAMN I WISH THESE PERVERTS WOULD STOP CALLING!

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A duck walks into a bar. In the middle of writing this joke I realized that there were already jokes like this so I stopped writing this one.

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Q. Why did the 40 year old woman puts on a large amount of makeup? A. She may have gerontophobia.

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Man 1: is that boy high? Man 2: No. He has down syndrome

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What do you call a black hitch hiker: stranded

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A man walks into a bar. Three weeks later he gets a liver transplant.

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Can you spell iCup? I see you pee?

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Why do all asians all look alike? Because they do.

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What's the difference between a duck? An orange.

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A man offered a little boy a ride home. He drove the boy home where his father preceeded to beat him senseless.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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