Blonde Girl: Why is this green-painted man throwing forks at me?! Green-Painted Man: It is confusing you, no?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

whats worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in ten dumpsters.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

tennis grunts . . . no different from sex noises

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve you kind here." The black man says, "Is it because I'm black?" The bartender replies, "Yes."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the twin towers order from the pizzeria? Two large Plane

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you piss off a moose? You throw popcorn at it

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock Knock Jehovah's witnesses!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did Suzie fall off the Swing? She had no arms.. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Cosmopolitan magazine releases an issue without any sex tips.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red Violets are blue. most poems rhyme but this one doesn't!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you kill Helen Keller? With a gun.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What happens when you give a Parrot a pack of cigarettes? Animal Rights Activists get upset and condemn your actions.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 has AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's worse then biting into your apple and finding a worm? Biting into your apple and finding two worms.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Calling your penis a chose because it's small and fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the goose say to the other goose? Honk!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A guy takes out his club and hits a baby seal with a fine for $50 for littering and threatens to smash the seal's favorite ceramic figurine with the club if he doesn't pay the fine. The man is a park ranger and takes littering very seriously.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is black, white and red all over? Something that pertains those characteristics

thumb_up thumb_down +3

You know what's wrong with Oprah? Generally nothing. She's a well-respected African American woman who happens to be quite wealthy and likes to share her wealth with other people.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Two Texas farmers, Jim and Bob, are sitting at their favorite bar, drinking beer. Jim turns to Bob and says, "You know, I'm tired of going through life without an education. Tomorrow I think I'll go to the Community College and sign up for some classes." Bob thinks it's a good idea, and the two leave. The next day, Jim goes down to the college and meets Dean of Admissions, who signs him up for the four basic classes: Math, English, History, and Logic. "Logic?" Jim says. "What's that?" The dean says, "I'll give you an example. Do you own a weed eater?" "Yeah." "Then logically speaking, because you own a weed eater, I think that you would have a yard." "That's true, I do have a yard." "I'm not done," the dean says. "Because you have a yard, I think logically that you would have a house." "Yes, I do have a house." "And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a family." "Yes, I have a family." "I'm not done yet. Because you have a family, then logically you must have a wife. And because you have a wife, then logic tells me you must be a heterosexual." "I am a heterosexual. That's amazing, you were able to find out all of that because I have a weed eater." Excited to take the class now, Jim shakes the Dean's hand and leaves to go meet Bob at the bar. He tells Bob about his classes, how he is signed up for Math, English, History, and Logic. "Logic?" Bob says, "What's that?" Jim says, "I'll give you an example. Do you have a weed eater?" "No." "Then you're gay!"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

mat (telling anti joke): so you are stranded in a desert, right and kyle: no. Mat: no man i'm Kyle: no (kyle was later found dead)

thumb_up thumb_down +3

So a Jew is walking on the street and he sees a penny, and he decides to pick it up because ever since the fire that killed his family and burned his house down he has been living on the street and he needs all the help he can get.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." Then there is silence and a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone the guy says "I shot in the air and my friend heard it and moved. I think he's still alive." The operator says "Good that means he's still breathing and he's not dead."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops