How do you pick up girls in Auschwitz? With a dustpan

Guy 1: What the shit is that car? Guy 2: Its not a car. It's an alfa romeo

Why's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding a golden ticket

Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Green paint.

How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends, but most weigh around 775 to 1,200 pounds.

,Do you know what hapened to the janitor who cleaned the school halls? He finished the job, got paid a reasonable amount and went home to his average family.

roses are red violets are blue i take pleasure in the simple things in life as i have nothing else left to live for

What's black and white and red all over? A seriously infected scab.

Why are Black Guys Black? Migration and adaptation to the harsh heat of the southern Sahara Desert. DUH.

There are two kids playing basketball outside one kid shoots and makes it. The other youngster exclaims "nice shot!" because the other boy put the ball in the hoop from a very long distance.

Why'd the chicken cross the road? Its not for us to determine its motive, i'm sure it has its reasons

How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Impossible, non-living organisms are incapable of moving and babies lack the brain capacity to understand how to screw in a light bulb.

I don't believe in giraffes.

How would I re-arrange the alphabet? I would place P in your butt...

Why was the black man kicked out of the restaurant? Blatant racism was still very prevalent at that time and place.

I have existed for over 6000 years and around vi0lating people long before you where ever born kid... You do not believe me you say? friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: You do not believe me? According to this DNA test... Welcome to papa son/daughter... Its time to make you a man/woman now, and then TIME TO MAKE YOU my BlTCH!

why did the horse drop its ice cream Because it doesnt have thumbs so it cant hold the ice cream

Roses are Rose, Violets are Violet.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, We've just had sex, Now you have aids too....

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

So I'm blowing this guy and he starts rubbing his finger through my hair... So I started thinking, what a fag.

What did the fat kid get for Christmas? Diabetes......

Knock Knock Who's there? Me ill kill u,

What's a worse place to be besides the friendzone? On your grandmas lap crying because your parents just died in a car crash.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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