What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? A dead cat.

How many Azheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side!

On a scale of 1 to Kevin James, how much do you exercise?

How many Jews can you fit in the car? 4 in the seats and 6 million in the ashtray.

Did you hear about the Polish couple taking selfies while on vacation in Portugal? They fell off a cliff and died in front of their children. True story.

A black man "walks into" a club. Several minutes later he is dead. The police, in a later press conference, refuse to admit that the club ever left the officer's belt.

Nothing. He made it home safely.

What do you call a black man with a gun a soldier who is fighting for his country

What did the magician say to the little boy after he "cut" his mother in half. She is dead now. Your dad is on Row 4, he is crying.

No smoking No eating No drinking On this bus Didn't say anything about sniffing

whats fat, green and hairy? Nothing I would pleasure myself to.

Why did the father and his son drop their cola? Because a meteor hit and killed all life on Planet Earth.

Why did the kid fall? He got pushed off of a building

Knock knock! Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? To get to the other side!

If God created the world, including man kind, why do we worship him? We are corrupt, selfcentered, animal slaughterers. He made us this. So, Why?

What's worse than getting a papercut? Literally anything.

What did Tim's grandma get him for his birthday? Nothing, because Tim's grandma died in a car accident 2 years ago

Yo Momma is SO FAT, THAT she has an increased risk of cardiac arrest due to her blood pressure.

what do you call a bunch of black people in a pool cocoa puffs

Why wasn't Susie happy? because she was raped by her grandfather.

"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. And that's when I found out my Uncle Ted was a cross-dresser.

What did the murderer do to the dentist? Nothing, the murderer has served his time and is clean. But he did get his teeth cleaned.

What do you get when you cross a sheep with a lion? A dead sheep.

Roses are red Violets are blue some poems rhyme this one doesn't

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...