Knock Knock. What's up? Oh, nothing much, you? Yeah, you know, same old, same old. Cool.

what do the parents of a starved family do? kill their kids chop them up into little pieces and eat them.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

Why did Lucy fall off the swing? Someone chucked a fridge at her.

what is blue and fuzzy? Blue Fuzz

How do you make a baby cry? You throw bricks at its face.

What did the monkey say to the newlywed couple? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

What's worse than being raped? Being raped twice.

Q: How many children did it take to screw in a light bulb? A: The light bulb was already screwed in and exploded after excessive tampering

Q: What goes up but doesn't come down? A: Columbia

Face...tastes like chicken!

Knock knock. *Silence Knock knock *silence Knock knock *Silence KNOCK KNOCK. *Silence (Busts open door) Oh right I murdered Billy a week ago

Q: whats white and smells like shit A: my ass

Roses are red Roses are white and I one time saw a purple one

What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike!

A man told another,"You suck." The insulted man finished the sentence,"On juice boxes."

Why did Suzie fall of the swing? Because Suzie was a cucumber.

Why did the girl miss her date? She got killed.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay guys house Knock Knock Who's there? The chicken

John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. Johnny runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his? hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

Why did the chicken cross the road? Um...thats impossible because chickens live on farms theyre are no roads....

Which came first, The chicken or the egg? Well, Firstly, I suppose that depends on if we are discussing Creation or Evolution. If we are talking about Evolution, The Chicken must Logically have evolved from an egg laying creature, one which was similar to, but not quite a chicken, so, the first chicken hatched from the egg of said creature. However, if we are discussing Creation, there is no way to discern which the deity in question decided to create first, so, even odds. Therefore, Logically, there is a 75% chance the Egg came first. However, if we are discussing Chicken Eggs Specifically, the reverse is true, because the egg the first Chicken hatched from would not have been a chicken egg, it would have been the egg of another creature, a "proto-chicken" if you will. and so, in the evolution scenario, the Chicken came first. Still, in this situation, there are even odds as to which a creator may or may not have created first. Therefore, Logically, in this Scenario, there is a 75% chance that the Chicken came first

What did the librarian say at the heavy metal concert? Shhhhh

Why was the little boy late for school? Because he was hit by a truck.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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