Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What's the difference between an apple and a baby. An apple is a fruit. A baby is a human being.

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How do you get the icing in the middle of a cupcake? Cupcake raper...Duh

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Confucius says... He with whom neither slander that gradually soaks into the mind, nor statements that startle like a wound in the flesh, are successful may be called intelligent indeed.

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knock knock whos there open open who the door

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Why did the little boy stop looking for his ball? Because he found it.

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I man was taking a major shiit He forgot to wipe

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what do you get when you cross a broken arm and a broken leg? a broken head.

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In Soviet Russia a lot of people were killed for voicing their opinion against Stalin

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Q: Why was the boy so sad? A: His parents were just killed in a car wreck, therefore orphaning him and his five brothers and sisters and leaving them with no money, food, or shelter due to lack of steady income and the fact that their house had been foreclosed on.

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What building has the most stories? The Burj Khalifa.

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What's long, hard and full of semen? A penis

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what do u call a 7th grade ninga joe waldeaker the sarah freek

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once upon a time, a bird fell in love with a fish.. they both died.

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What is worse than getting hit by a car? Getting hit by a truck

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Roses are red.........I slept with someone else

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why did the chicken cross the road? there was chicken food on the other side

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple?  Getting raped by a 10 foot scorpion.

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A man walks into a grab and go restaurant and asks the man if he can stay, the man replies "yes."

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The teacher asked her class "What is 42 + 17?" Several hands were flung into the air. "71!" said Billy excitedly. "No, I'm sorry that is incorrect." said the teacher. "67!" shouted Carl at the top of his lungs. "Incorrect!" said the teacher. Then little Johnny raised his hand. "The answer is 69" he said full of intellectual delight. "Very good." said the teacher.

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What do you call a boy with no arms or legs Mat

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor! why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. why did the farmer cross the road? To get his chicken. Why didnt the farmer make it to the other side? He was hit by his tractor.

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What do you call a deer that has no eyes? I have no eyedeer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops