?"i'm so turned on right now." - horny light bulb

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KONY 2012! *world rises up cheering in spontaneous patriotism for Africa* Leader of KONY 2012 arrested for public masturbation

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A hat.

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What did the dog say to his own poop? You gonna eat that?

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Did you hear about the blonde that crashed her car? No. Is she okay?

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Hey, I just met you And this is scabies So I'm prescribing you some permethrin.

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How do you wake up lady Gaga? You poke her face

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Knock Knock. (No answer) Knocker: " I guess the resident of this home isn't home at this hour."

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Regarding the "I will violate you, your children and your parent if you thumb me red" comment belo. I had a green thumb, I know because I gave it to myself because I am awesome... Now I got none... I person that this this, I cannot wait to X-mas where I will be violating them all, tell them, and as thus remind you that this was their Christmas present from you... Your friendly r*pist neighborhood Moral Man: Yes, I am your neigbor... I cant wait for slot number 24 on my christmas calendar... There is a picture of you and your family... Yummy!

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Q:Why did the boy have no friends A: because Ants are not considered friends

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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the firefighter says to the other firefighter: hey firefighter, are we going to fight a fire?

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What do dogs and keyboards have in common? Nothing.

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What does society have in common with laundry? They both get ruined when you mix colors with whites.

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Why do cats have nine lives? Because they don't have ten.

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Why a man without hands and without legs want to stay in a barrel? He actually doesn't, but is unable to get out of it.

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Why did Susan fall of the swing? She had no arms... Knock Knock... Who's there? Not Susan...

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You're such a retard, you have to take special education, live with a mother that doesn't know what to do with you, not understand the real world, and have people look at you strangely for the rest of your life.

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Just friends, they too pretend to be you and copy the way you write and express yourself, I told them to stop though, Azure threatened someone here a cultist of sorts I think, that does not exactly put us in a better light with the people that where getting our messages, and yes they are coded, I sincerely had no idea though,

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a child swallows a cleaning product, why is he given chocolate milk? to make him happy before he dies

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what does an adhd kid that causes all kind of trouble get? a buncha ass whoopins and some meds to dope his ass up

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple this joke.

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.Ttwo guys walked into a bar. The third one ducked.

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How do you get a elephant in a fridge? You open the fridge and put it in. How do you get a Rhino in a fridge? You take the elephant out and then put the rhino in. All the animals in the animal kingdom are at a meeting, what animal isn't there? The rhino, his in the fridge. How do you cross a river full of alligators? Walk across the allligators are at the meeting.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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