Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the turkey was in the oven and all the farm animals thought the chicken could run the errands in his place just fine.

A guy went to a girl asked if she wanted to have sex with him. She said yes and they promptly had sex.

Anyone can post anything.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she was clumsy. Nevertheless the accident was minor and she did not injure the arms that she had.

What do you call a woman with two black eyes? Irish sunglasses

Why did the Europeans colonise Africa Because they couldn't do it themselves

why did the black guy talk to the monkey? they were in the same cage.

why did the baby die ? he fell down the stairs

Paul walks on a bridge. It collapses.

What was Hellen Keller's dogs name? dhfgbvskjne How did Hellen Keller's dog die? Natural causes.

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

What if algebra teachers were actually pirates, and they're making us find the X so they can search for buried treasure?

Life is like a bucket of wood shavings. Except when they're in a pail. Then it's like a pail of wood shavings.

Whats funny about a guinea pig water skiing? The part where he explodes.

Man: Doctor doctor I feel like a pair of curtains........ Doctor: You clearly have Alarming mental issues perhaps a psychologist would be the right person to discuss this matter further

~Chinese Anti Joke~ What is the difference between American army and Chinese army? American army teach youngsters to use their tanks. Chinese army smash youngsters with their tanks.

What's funnier than a Laffy Taffy joke? Almost anything.

What's big and purple? Barney

2 guys are in a bar joking and having a good time. One guy looks to the other and says, "So...HOWS your wife?" The man replies "...She died in a horrible car accident." The man's friend then says "...I am sorry to hear that.." "Yeah I know I wish that God damn rat wasn't in the road goddamn fucker"

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a wanted serial killer on the run from the police

What did Billy say to Timmy? Timmy! I'm so sorry. *Sniffles* I didn't mean to throw the fork that hard. Rest in peace Timmy...

what do you call a door made of steel? a steel door

Your mom is so ignorant that she in completely unaware how the premature termination of QE2 in conjunction with a potential US credit downgrade could substantially impact her fixed income portfolios and hinder her ability to retire in the desired time frame.

What do you get when you cross an owl, with a bungee cord?..... My ass.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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