there was a lesbian, a bi-sexual and a homosexual at a wine bar having a drink.......They had a great night

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? A: Shark bait.

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Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

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A Mormon walks out of a bicycle store.

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A man walks into a bar and sees that the pianist is just twelve inches tall. He asks the bartender, ''How come you have a 12-inch pianist?'' The bartender replies, ''We have a genie in the back room. He'll answer all your wishes, but be careful, because he has a little trouble hearing.'' The man walks into the back room and asks the genie for a million bucks. The genie then gives him a million ducks. The man comes out and tells the bartender that the genie misheard his wish. The bartender says, ''Come on, now! Do you really think I asked for a 12-inch pianist?!''

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Why did the teenager drink a beer? Because it was actually full of sizzurp

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John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? 10. 3 in back, 2 up front and the rest in the ash tray.

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why was the boy mad? He had a lot of homework that evening

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their was a black man in my family tree hes still hanging on

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Why was the pizza mad? Because he was going thorough a growth spurt and the testosterone got to him.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names.

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What's funnier than 10 dead babies? 11 dead babies.

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Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

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Why was little Johnny crying? He is regularly raped by his father.

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What did the clown say when he was denied health insurance? Nothing, he died of his pre-existing heart condition.

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What is the best time to go to the dentist? When you have a toothache

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Why couldn't the man make it to work? Because as he was leaving his apartment, he saw a gruesome murder on the street that was part of an ever-growing and evolving genocide. Quickly following this, he broke down into psychological turmoil and wandered aimlessly through the streets until he eventually reached a forest, where he was taken in by a wild boar and raised to believe in boar-gods. The man died peacefully while planting potatoes.

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Why did the boy only have one arm? tigers make terrible pets

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Why are rich guys gay? Because they hang around other rich guys

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Why don't they have any badminton courts in the jungle? There just isn't the demand.

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, none of them did.

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What is the difference of The United States and 10 pounds of shit? Well,considering there are 50 united states,we would take 10 away from 50 for a total of 40. A very simple subtraction problem indeed.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Not because she had no arms, but because she just had no hands.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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