Why did the woman leave the kitchen? ?? She had just prepared her breakfast and was late for her full-time job as a police officer.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Mets.

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whats pink, brown, and smells like a banana. monkey vomit?

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A Christian walks into a bar . . . mitzvah.

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The duck didn't cross the road.

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Rebecca Blacks walk into a bar. She gets shot.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I told him to. I'm very influential.

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Opinions are like assholes. I'm not sure how they are alike, but that seems to be the general consensus.

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Inspirational speaker: "You can judge a man by the way he treats those who can do nothing for him." Me: "Hitler loved dogs."

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what's white, sits around all day, and sucks on tits? a baby.

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25.

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Doctor: Knock knock. Patient: Whose there? Doctor: Interrupting doctor. Patient: Interrupting doc... Doctor: Your son has AIDS and will die soon.

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Why are all teachers stupid? They´re not. Why would you say that?

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but smell this towel, you won't remember a thing.

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I knew a little girl once. She was ate before she was seven.

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catlin: hi Thomas: shut up bich 12 assssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss2sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss2ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss2ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss2ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss2ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssl;

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what did obama say when he lost his dog ? where the hell is my presidential dog !

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What do you call a chicken who eats chicken. Cannibal

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What do u do if a blonde throws a bomb at u Trigger the bomb and throw it back

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How do you get clean dishes? You wash them.

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What's black and Has 8 legs? Gang Rape.

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NO! I'm putting it in my front room, you sick bastard!

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Knock knock Who's there? Owl Owl who? Owl Johnson, your neighbor. Oh hi Owl, please come in.

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What rhymes with car? Not kangaroo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops