why did the man have a hole in his face? because syphillis had eaten a hole in it

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why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom T H E R E ' R E A L L D E A D!!!

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what did the iphone say to the galagy s3? nothing they are phones.

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Knock knock Who's there. Interrupting cow, sorry you can see where this is going, just let me in without asking any more questions please.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? The Johnson Family was then heard on the morning news for letting a murderer into their home before being brutally killed.

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What did the unicorn say to the horse? I have a horn and you don't.

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Why don't women wear watches?...Because the economy is at an all-time low and it would be reasonable to presume that a person couldn't afford an item like this, thus, trying to budget in a watch that could cost anywhere from 50-100$ would be a risky financial move depending on their yearly salary.

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- have you heard about the guy who got the left side off the body cut off? - no. - He died

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Why is the sky blue? Time to get a watch.

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What did the nun eat for breakfast? Baseballs.

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Why? Because.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Reclu. Reclu who? Recluse Spider.

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PENIS lol

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What do you call a deer with no eye? NO IDEAR!

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A man and a woman meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony was rubbish but the reception was brilliant

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What did Hitler get his son for Christmas? An Ez-bake oven and a GI Jew

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How do you get a blonde with one hand out of a tree? Grab a ladder and carry her down.

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Me - "Wanna hear something that will make me laugh?" *giggles* friend - "Sure." teehee if anyone gets it.

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Girl, why are you crying? I'm not a girl, I'm a strawberry.

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Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A: Cheese.

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DIY LOL Can't Be Unseen Extreme Advertising Funny Tip Jars Meanwhile In ethugtxt Check out our iPhone app! Popular Newest Random Write Your Own! . . Write Your Own It's easy to take part, just type your text below! I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service Anti Joke What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline. MOAR?? Want more? You might be interested in… Anti-Joke Chicken Anti-Joke Triceratops Download Our Free App! Hay guise, our iPhone app was just approved! Pictures From Our Other Sites ffuuu More Fail at 11 Extreme Advertising Funny Tip Jars Car Failures Porn SFW Quotes From Other Sites “-Your feet must be tired 'cuz you've been running through my mind. -Yea, I was running away from you..” via: Anti-Pickup Line “In the olden days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, put it on sale, and then found out how it handled....” via: Clarksonisms “Zero-snack calories..” via: Pointless Inventions “The power to instantly reduce the sales price of an item to ten percent of the original but you must buy at least ten..” via: Pointless Super Powers “I count how many steps it takes to cross a section of sidewalk, and will continue taking the same amount of steps until I realize....” via: Things You Think Only You Do “I love you.... :D.” via: ethugtxt .. Anti Joke Anti-Pickup Line Clarksonisms Pointless Inventions Things You Think Only You Do Feedback :: Advertising Inquiries :: Copyright :: Privacy :: Terms of Service ©2008-2011 Anti Joke. All rights reserved. A Horse Head Huffer Production. Rails Hosting provided by BlueBox

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops