- Anti Joke

An English ship lands in the New World and offers to trade with the natives. The ship actually carried foreign diseases that the natives had no immunity to, and they all died.

Drew Knowles is gay

what did the kid with no hair get for christmas? cancer.

Someone told me once, but i had terrible memory so I had them tell me again.

What's the difference between Barney the dinosaur and Santa? Barney Loves you.

Parent: Please, my son have sinned. Please cleanse him from his sins. Priest: Hmmm, it may be hard to cleanse him from his demons. You may leave him in my car today. We shall enter the dark chambers where we will battle your demons Parent: Thankyou Priest: Alone, in the dark. It will be painful for him, but he shall be cleansed wink Parent: whut?

A panda walks into a bar and orders a beer and a hamburger. After he eats he stands up stretches and pulls out a gun shooting everyone in the room but the bartender. The panda puts $20 on the bar and turns to leave. As he walks out the door the bartender asks why the panda shot everyone. The panda tells him to look in the encyclopedia. The bartender looks up panda and he reads: "A rare bearlike mammal (Ailuropoda melanoleuca) of the mountains of China and Tibet, having woolly fur with distinctive black and white markings. Also called giant panda, panda bear." Seeing absolutely nothing in this description that would rationalize the homicides the panda had just committed, the bartender arrived at the reasonable conclusion that the panda was psychotic and having severe psychological problems which probably caused the incident. The bartender couldn't help but wonder if this tragedy could've been avoided had the panda been properly screened for schizophrenia and guns been properly secured in a safe at the panda's mother's house.

So a Jew is walking on the street and he sees a penny, and he decides to pick it up because ever since the fire that killed his family and burned his house down he has been living on the street and he needs all the help he can get.

A blind man walks into a bar. The next day he goes out and buys a new seeing eye dog.

Josh is sooo great at blowing, xoxo Dylan Hodge.

What is a turkey? The offspring of a turtle and a monkey.

Knock knock. Who's there? There's no need to ask this question due to the fact that most homes are built with peepholes nowadays.

An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walked into a bar. The Englishman ordered a lager, the Irishman ordered a Guiness, and the Scotsman ordered tap water.

Q: What did the redneck say when he ran out of beer? A: I need more beer.

There is a wizard standing on a street corner. A boy walks up to the wizard and says, "Can you turn invisible?" The wizard replies, "Oh, I'm not a wizard. I'm a hobo with a long beard and a bathrobe." The hobo then proceeded to begging the boy for money.

joe paterno doesn't walk into a police station

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Is your refrigerator running? No.

Why did the guy fall into the ocean? He was surfing

-The proceeding statement is true. -The preceeding statement is false.

how do you kill chuck norris? you dont, killing is illegal

What did the farmer say when he finally found his tractor? 'Where's my tractor?'

Steven Hawking walks into a bar. Steven Hawking is disabled from the neck down. I lied.

But I don't use all those things myself Nero, I do however teach people how to use it.

In space, no one can hear you scream. Which means Xenomorphs are deaf.