Why was the bartender's baby crying upstairs? Because it was being raped.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer left his fence open and the chicken happened to cross a road.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm colorblind.

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Whats the difference between 2 white men? They both have different jobs and one is racist orange peel.

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Boys go to college to get more knowledge, girls go to Jupiter... Actually I lied, girls go to the kitchen

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do you know what was a good idea? not last night

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why did the kid die? his mom shot him

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what did the man say to his cat? sex. -teagan doherty

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what is worse than a guy pissed?

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Someone dies every second. That's 60 a minute. 3600 a hour. 86,400 a day. 604,800 a week. 31,536,000 a year. But thankfully- I don't live in Zimbabwe.

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Does that doctor take insurance? No, the receptionist takes the insurance, the doctor takes your blood... Well actually, the nurse does that.

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Okay, but lets write a contract, if you regret your decision at anytime, you get it all back, minus what I have spent of course, both I and my wife have always wanted to live in a house by the sea, hopefully you nearby. You know, I have never been truly happy because I thought I could change this world, now I know that I tried and failed, maybe I can change myself instead, they say that true change comes from within.

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What did the statue say to the other statue? stat-you?

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what do you get when you cross a broken arm and a broken leg? a broken head.

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Invention I totally meant invention! XD, now okay, you can have the top comment, ill even read it because I like ya a lot.

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Thats the magic of Moral Man, I do not make people my bitches, they curl up and do it all for me. Moral: HEEEEEY BITCHEEEEEES! WAZZAAAAP!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Bob Bob who? Your neighbor

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What is green and red and is going super fast? A frog in a blender.

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I met a fat girl and fucked her on an elevator. . . It was wrong on so many levels.

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2 squirrels with 2 massive boners and 1 little boner.

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A wild bear walks into a bar, grabs a drink and looks at the man next to it. The man then wakes up from a dream and gets ready for work.

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Why did the girl fall from the tree? Gravity.

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Why do jews get their foreskin cut off? Because they're jewish.

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i think quinn is gay? you probably don't know him but when i walked him on him shoveling a ken doll is his butt

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops