Wanna know my life in a nutshell? Well you can't. Life is an inanimate object an will therefore not fit inside anything, let alone a nutshell.

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What's worse than getting no presents for Christmas? Ass-rape!

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69

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A Mexican, a Jew, and a Colored guy walk into a bar, the bartender looks up and says: "What can I get you gentlemen today?"

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Why did the little girl walk into the wall? Because she was blind.

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If you know someone with the last name Schmidt. ALWAYS ask him to take a Schmidt on your chest

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Why did Jack take a prune out for the evening? A healthy snack as part of a balanced diet.

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Why did the Teacher cry? Because he was sad.

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Why couldn't Stephen Hawking run a marathon? He was struck by a very serious disease, otherwise known as refrigerator to the face, at the age of 5.

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Q: Why did the kid get Christman presents in August? A: Because it was cheaper than chemotherapy.

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what happens when Pinocchio says "My nose is growing"?

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Guys, I think I'm gonna apply to join the Crips. My SAT score is a 2050, and their average score is a 2200. My GPA, however, is a 4.6, and their average is only a 4.2. Do you guys think that they will take me? Or should I try and apply for the Bloods?

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guest who else is a ugly bitch my mom

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Where does a blind person drive a car? Into a tree.

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What did the white man say to the black man? Nice Pants

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Q: What was the proctologist doing on the street? A: He was observing the assfault.

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Why did Hitler shoot himself? Because he found out Chuck Norris was a Jew.

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What starts with "P" and ends with "orn"? Popcorn

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To reach his desired destination.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Oh hey Banana what's up? Nothing much. You? Oh nothing, I was just talking to Apple here. Oh hey Apple. Hey.

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In soviet russia, child molests you! Unfortunately true

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My wife told me that I should see things from a woman's point of view. So I looked out the kitchen window.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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What happen when Sarah made but her nose in other people's business? Her vagina got set on fire by cole and derrek shoved your head up his ass!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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