roses are red violet are blue what are you gonna do when chuck norris find you

Roses are red violets are blue. Yes.

What did the contestant say to the game show host? If I don't win I will arrange to kill your family.

Q. How do you kill 5000 flies? A. Slap a afraican in the face.

If you want to make the little things count, teach midgets maths!

Roses are red, violetsvare blue, I have aids, so do you

Why could't Jerry go to school on the Wednesday? Because he died on the Monday.

Why did Johnny close the door on Sally's face? Because Johnny is a dick.

The saying "When Pigs Fly" Can easily be canceled. Just tie a rocket and wings to it and let it go.

whats worst than finding a worm in your apple???? an apple in your worm.

Why didn't the dog come to his master when it was called? It didn't have any legs.

How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to drop it and die of gas poisoning.

How do you fix a chimpanzee? With a monkey wrench

why did the girl fall off the slide? she was pushed, by her dad...

I need a sidecart on my motorcycle just for my diick

why was the woman in the kitchen? because societal standards placed her in such a situation

An Asian woman is driving home from work and arrives in 30 minutes, which is strange because it normally does not take that long but she left during rush hour and the traffic was very bad at the time.

Billy wanted a toy for Christmas. Sadly, Billy died before Christmas.

B=boy G=girl B:hey i got a good nock nock joke but you have to start it G:okay nock nock B:whos there?

Why won't Santa be delivering presents this year? Because he can't be bothered.

What succeeds most of the time? The population of a field with grass.

People who are addicted to brake fluid just can't stop.

Why did the boys shout ZACHATTACK? Because zach was attacking

Whats round and bouncy? A bouncy ball

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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