It was a boys birthday, his mom died of cancer, his dad of aids, and all of his siblings were put in a gas chamber. Happy Birthday

Why did Jim not go to the park and play football with his Dad today? His dad got hit by a bus and lost his legs

How long does it take you to count to 5? 5 seconds.

In a tangential universe Crispin Glover is the head of scientology

catastrophic anthropogenic global warming

What did the gay black man say after JFK was shot? Wow thats really sad but I have such an appetite right now so i should probably go to eat.

A man walks into a Library.... And asks for a book.

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 cantaloupe.

Jon waits in his driveway for a bit then rides off to a lemonade stand but doesn't stop because the stand is surrounded by police who have arrested the kids at the stand for selling spiked lemonade. He continues past the stand and goes somewhere else (probably Subway).

Your mama's so hairy, she has to shave occasionally.

What's better than winning a gold medal in the Paralympics ? Not being disabled

what is black and green and rainy all over? the democratic republic of congo

A tortoise went for a run. It took him two hours to get around the corner.

Violence is never the answer, its the question... The answer is YES!

Q:whats the difference between a black man and a bunk bed A: a bunk bed can support 2 kids

How does a Welshman take a shit? Like anyone other human being does.

What was the asian person's name? I don't know, I never met him.

There are two fish in a tank and one says to the other, "how do we drive this thing?"

Wanna hear a joke? no

What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

If life gives you lemons, you're setting up a bad joke

Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

what does 1 out of 15 people get cancer

Kid 1 Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken. Kid 2 Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys. Kid 1 You know what? I think you're right Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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