why did the Chicken Cross the Road? Why must you question a Chicken's motives to Cross the Road?

John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. Johnny runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his? hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

Why did the Chicken Cross the road? Because it did...

Roses are dead Violets are dead I'm a terrible gardener.

Me and my family won courtside tickets to the World Finals basketball game! ...WNBA...

How do you make a baby cry? You throw bricks at its face.

I saw a stray dog the other day So I petted it and got on my way.

We found a cure for cancer. Death

Why were the parents sad? Because their son had a frog stapled to his face and was trying to eat his ice cream on a swing, but he had no arms so he dropped his ice cream into the street and he chased after his ice cream and got hit by a bus

What did the cat say to the dog? - meow!

why does the gay guy like anal-sex? because he's gay.

1,2,3,4,5..what comes next? yeah you should know how to count

How do you confuse a blonde? put her in a circular room and tell her to stand in the corner

Why did the guy fail his driving test? He was blind.

Why did Suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

So, a man walks into a bar. His alcoholic habits are slowly tearing apart his marriage.

What is white and shaped like a refrigerator? A refrigerator.

What did the west African get for his birthday? Ebola

A horse walks into a bar. "Rough day?" says the bartender. UUUNNNHHHHH!

How do you make a baby understand what you want? You color yourself purple, wear a yellow shirt, and do cart wheels while singing "The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round!"

A man died in a sky-diving accident. What was the last thing that went through his mind before he died? His feet

A: What does MC Hammer like? B: Big Butts. A: Can he lie? B: No.

Why are ginger's jokes not funny? Because they're gingers.

''Today is Star Wars day :)'' ''Why's that?'' ''guess'' ''I don't know :/'' ''It's May the 4th!'' ''And?'' ''May the 4th be with you :p''

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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