Finn: Jake, why can your body do all of those magical things? Jake: What do you mean? Finn: Oh never mind. And they both proceeded to enjoy a delicious breakfast.

A bus with 12 black guys is driven off a cliff. What is the sad part of this story? ... Our beloved president was not involved.

Sometimes you have to stop and smell the roses. Unless they are next to the trashcan where you put your little sisters diapers

What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. -It's funny because the robot doesn't have any arms.

What happened to the baby seal who went clubbing? He met a nice woman and contracted HIV from her after engaging in unprotected sexual intercourse after taking her to his flat.

why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was taped to the first one why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? it didn't

69

What happened when the car hit the man? He died.

10 years later...... a baby is born in Japan and has 26 toes due to radiation

Hey babe, do you like water, because I have water.

What is the gay guy thinking about? Penis

Jimmy clenches his fist, a crack his heard. Jimmy begins to cry knowing his arthritis has gotten worse.

A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

Why did the fat kid rob a pizza shop? Because he happened to like pizza.

A gorilla walks into a bar. It goes on a killing spree, and is promptly put down by animal control.

Today, both my parents were killed in a car accient. FML.

why was the child crying? because his friend just got hit by a van.

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? The Holocaust.

Where would a 65 year old man find a young, attractive woman who would take any interest in him? Very likely in a hospital, but that would be a professional interest, not a sexual one.

what's better than winning a gold metal at the special olympics? not being retarded.

the firefighter says to the other firefighter: hey firefighter, are we going to fight a fire?

Uh Erron, you know, I do not spend most of the time before this computer or studying because I am popular nor anything, so that`s one thing, and yeah, I never done it with anybody so yeah, uhh lucky me or something.

Q: Why does the black guy eat watermelon A: Because it's a delicious nutritious snack

I heard that you could burn punds so I found a fat kid and set him on fire

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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