a girl had just gotten dumped by her boyfriend over a text message. she got very sad and became suicidal

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you get an Orphan's hands to bleed? Tell them to clap till daddy gets home.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

- Knock knock. - Who's there? - Jehovah - Jehovah who? - Jehovah's Witness - Go f*** yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

thumb_up thumb_down +17

catastrophic anthropogenic global warming

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Knock, knock! Who's there? No one. No one actually knocked on your door because this is just a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you get when you cross a crocodile and a couch? A coat because vests don't have sleeves.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's red and bad for you teeth. A brick

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did one ginger say to the other? W are both gingers.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why'd the chicken cross the road? The chicken doesnt understand the concept of a street so it was most likely just wandering across the street

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's the new green? Green

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's the worst subject in school? None of them. You need school to get by in life. Get over it.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A blone walks into a bank in New York City and asks the bank teller for a $5000 loan because she's going to Mexico for 2 weeks. The bank teller said he would need some security for the money. The blonde tells him her new Rolls Royce is in the parking Lot and she hands him the keys. The blonde gets the money and goes on her trip. Another employee at the bank then parks the car in the underground parking garage. He later ffinds out the blonde is a multi millionaire. When the blonde arrives home from she pays back the $5000 and $15 interest. When the bank teller asks her why she gave them a $250000 car for security or needed the $5000 loan if she was a multi millionaire, the blonde answers, "Where else can you park your car in New York City and expect it to stillbe there when you return?"

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What is orange and smells like oranges? Oranges.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

When life throws you lemons, your first instinct is to make lemonade. Due to your severe lemon allergy, however, you will die within several minutes and therefore have no viable method of creating said lemonade. You die horribly and your death sparks a movement against the biological warfare of life.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A wife asks her husband to treat her like she's special. So he tells her, "Gooooooooooo... Maaaaaaaaaaaaake... Meeeeeeee.... Aaaaaa.... Saaaaaaaandwitch

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did 3 kids mom's die last year? Because they were depressed and committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the black boy get for Christmas? A bike his parents bought him.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

You read this in school as the kid sitting next to you stares at his computer screen.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did Justin Bieber jump out of the airplane? He didn't, i pushed him

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How does a Welshman take a shit? Like anyone other human being does.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why did every one care when i killed my self they didn't

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: What did blue say to red? A: Let's make some purple

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops