CAVE JOHNSON.

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A man walks into a bar, it's funny because he is an alcholholic

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are white Dandelions are yellow

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Asian women drivers...

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What do you call a Black guy picking cottnon? A cottonpicker

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Why was George Washington buried in Virginia? Because he was dead.

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"To tea to to to" -- russian tourist, asking for two tea to room 22. (DOKA)

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Knock knock Who's there? John Oh hello John come on in mate.

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roses are red violets are blue get out of my face before i kill you

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Romney: I think you would raise our debt and make more Americans jobless. Obama: It's just cuz I'm black!

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What's brown and has four wheels? Wood, I lied about the wheels.

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Two men meet at an office. One man says "why the long face?" Then other man says "I just had plastic surgery."

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Why did the blonde ask her doctor if she could get a new butt? She is insecure about its appearance and believes reconstructive anus surgery is the only solution.

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a sausage maker buys a box of cereal

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Whats pink red and silver? A baby chewing on reason blades. Whats pink red silver and smells bad? Same baby two weeks later.

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What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies. What's worse than that? Two dead babies nailed to a tree. What's worse than that? Two dead trees naild to a baby.

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Why don't you hit a black guy riding a bike? Because that is dangerous and he could get hurt.

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Why did the stoner visit anti-joke.com? Because he was bored, and probably kinda high.

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A man finds a magic lamp and rubs it. A genie appears and says that he will grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish for a duck". POOF! He got a duck. Then he says "I wish for a penguin". POOF! A penguin magically appears. He thought long and hard for his 3rd wish. Then he said "I wish I had a turtle" POOF! Suddenly out of nowhere the genie disappears. The man looked inside the magic lamp and saw a small turtle. The end.

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What did the Mexican parents name their first born son? Nobody knows. He was adopted by a nice family due to the fact that his biological parents were murdered in cold blood. His foster parents named him Kevin.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why are you worrying about the chicken? You just got shot.

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What did the guy say to helen keller nothing... according to helen keller

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What do u say to someone u don't like? I thought I'd let u no tht I don't like u...

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So last night I was f**king my girlfriend and I flip her over and f**k her up the ass. Later we're sitting having a cigarette when she says, "you know it was pretty presumptuous of you to think you can just flip me over and f**k me up the ass." And I said, "presumptuous!? That's a pretty big word for a 5th grader."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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