Who pushed joe off the building? Nobody. joe hated his life and wanted to die

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Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. One of its legs is both the same

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don't just stand there

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Why was the cat in the bag? Because it's owner was abusive and put it in there.

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what does a baby sound like in a microwave. i don't know i was masturbating

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Friends are like trees. They fall when hit multiple times with an axe.

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A teacher tells one of her students, "If I say 'I am beautiful', which tense is that?" The student tells her, "Didn't your mother ever tell you that lying is bad?"

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What body part did German prince Heinrich von Missingpenis lack? His toenail.

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A hindu and a muslim walk into a bar. They start arguing over their different fundamental religious beliefs and then considering it is an american bar, an american christian extremist quickly shoots them both for being " from that part of the world"

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How many blondes does it take to change a diaper? About a thousand

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How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool then don't let her come up for air.

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anti jokes are really funny

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WHAT HAS MAN BOOBS THE SIXE OF JUPITER BOMBER NEVILLE

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What happened when the high school student had intercourse with his history teacher? orgasmic noises.

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Why didn't George Washington get his drivers license? Cars were yet to be invented.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was hit by a fridge halfway through walking.

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my computer teacher just left the room. teehee JLR

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two paraplegics walk into a bar. oh wait...

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Tommy was excited to get a tattoo of a falafel on his wiener. He got skin cancer.

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Why did the white girl lose the race? The girl that she was beating was black and her boy shot her. Therefore the black girl won.

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What is black and white and red all over? Black people in a blender. I lied about the white

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whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? a beanch can support a family

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Why did you loose the basketball game? Because they scored more points than us.

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This night was a particularly stormy one, many a crop destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could emotionally blind those who may experience it's full potential. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a secluded village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for there lives, all but Jonny, that is. Jonny was bullied from a young age, approximately 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope, expectation and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going to venture into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there that Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down in the family's precious leather chair, looked her in the eye and whispered a sweet farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible, so now he is armed with the fact that his father is there for him, to help him further his adventure. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He grabbed his stash of Cool Original Doritos, took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena, got his Grandfather's lucky medallion and his inhaler and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, used the straw to puncture a hole through which to drink, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of HIV induced AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 3 to 5 years, depending on behavior, in a high security prison for child molestation, frequent and consistant child abuse and paedophillia and smuggling Crystal Meth. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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