I was on Facebook today. Opened someones wall. Read "LIKE if you know someone that needs to be smacked in the face with a shovel." So I liked it and wrote my exboyfriend's name.......

thumb_up thumb_down +2

An atmosphere goes into one bar. Which is pretty normal since it is roughly the regular value of the atmospheric pressure on Earth at sea level

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar and the bartender says, " OH MY GOD! YOU CAN WALK?!?!"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was Jimmy so upset? Because both of his parents died.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is the best part about having sex with tweny-six year olds. There are twenty of them. ap~pac

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why did the man slip on the knife? he wanted to commit suicide

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what has 52 teeth and holds back a monster? my zipper

thumb_up thumb_down +2

an dislexik nam rwote hits

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Yo mama so fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the house burn down? Obama

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did Visellet stop eating cherries? Because she choked on a pit and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A plane crashed. The pilot was some sort of food, like a loaf of bread or a salad. Neither of which can fly a plane or do much of anything-- like get a plane to move in the first place, let alone take off.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

2 men walk into a bar. You would have expected the second one to notice it after the first guy walked into it.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do black people do with M&Ms? They eat them.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you make Bill Gates poor? You take all of his money

thumb_up thumb_down +2

You: I have a question Person: Yes You: Do you have an answer?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I was in the 74th hunger games I hid in the cornucopia until almost everyone was dead. Then I saw Katniss and Peeta so while they were distracted with night lock I pulled a rubber chicken out of my ass and beat the shit out of them till they died then I won the 75th hunger game also. They asked me to be there mocking jay but I killed them all and blew the plane up in the Capitol the end. By Adam Chebali

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why is that man such a perv? I don't know. Ever since I let him see my boobs, he has had this undying obsession with sex. So, I guess that, as society would classify him, he is a sex addict. He will do anything for it, even if he needs a man to get it. I feel terrible about starting his obsession, and plan to take him to therapy next week for the sake of his health.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

rose's are red violets are blue bernard is mine and yours too if you hurt him in any way i'll punch you in your face and make you gay Krissc

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How was a blonde woman able to get into Harvard? She was smart and had a very good SAT score.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Study from real life: My trip to Texas. (From the time when I was interested in mormon-ism.) Texan: And here is my gun collection, great for shootin yer Mexican scum. Me: Uh I am Norwegian but my ancestors where Russian or something so my skin is... Texan: *points gun at me and pushes trigger halfways* Just kidding der son, sure you aint no Mexican though? Okay just checkin ya know... Me *sweating bullets* Texan guys gun go off almost hitting me and breaking a vase.. Conclusion: He blamed me, everyone had lunch outside later, everyone kept looking at the "trigger happy MEXICAN"... Nero: By then I began grasping the fact that I was better suited for the study of the dark arts... And also learned that in Mormonism, Heaven and Hell are planets locked into war, where black people where neutral, and red people are demon supporters, but WE CAN ALL BE SAVED BY BECOMING WHITE! JUST LIKE THE ANGEL MORONI! Conclusion two: Moroni... Lol.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A Man Gets Cancer He eventually Loses all his hair and drops dead

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red Violets are blue The last time I saw your mom I made you

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops