What's harder to pick up, a football or an anvil? It doesn't matter when you lost your fingers in 'nam.

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Ding Dong! Who's the - - - wait - - - I don't have a doorbell.

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What was Joe's old name? Joe, I lied about the old part.

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What do you call a black man a asian man and a mexican man? 3 people

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There are two men on a dock. The first man says, "What's your name?" The second man says, "GET OFF!" because he has turrets.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idear.

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what did the church group do at their picnic? drink the kool aid

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A man walked into a bar. I shot him

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A drunk man into a bar. He is ripping apart a family

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What's the object with the most points according to science and math? A sphere.

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Its about rewriting the laws of the universe and nothing less, yes yes theoretically the subconcious has unlimited potential (or at least potential we humans cannot theoretically comprehend nor define). But what if I can use my consciousness to trick my subconsciousness? What if I use the subconsciousness to trick the consciousness into tricking the subconciousness?

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Whats worse than Lindsey Lohans vagina? Nothing.

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So an alien walks into a bar......... and everyone runs away secreaming because theres an alien in the bar.

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Q. Why are most jews unemployed? A. They all got fired.

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What's green, has six legs and would kill you if it fell on you out of a tree? A pool table.

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what does lady gaga have that some people dont have? a penis.

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What do you get when you cross bread an eagle, a wolf and shark together? I don't know, but I'm pretty sure it will kill all of us!

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What is the coefficient of friction's favourite band? MU-se. What does the coefficient of friction go to see at weekends? MU-seums. What is the coefficient of friction's favourite hobby? Masturbating violently with a noose around his neck.

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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Roses are Red Lemons are Sour Pull Down Your Pants And Give Me an Hour

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why is 6 afraid of 7 7 is a registered sex offender

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who holds the world record for longest amount of time on fire? Jim Rome

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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Knock knock. Get out!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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