How do you enter a gas station? Through the front door

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What did the five fingers say to the face? Nothing. Fingers cannot talk.

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I'm black and I will beat your children. (This is not an anti-joke)

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why did Sallt fall off the swings? she had no arms knock knock who's there not Sally

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What did Joe get for his first birthday? Nothing he died at birth

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Knock knock? Who's there? John. John who? John who is hospitalized in critical condition because he was struck by a ladder.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He simply lost grip of the cone and it fell out of his hand

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Screwing in a lightbulb is a simple, menial task, and the fact that the man was a Jew is irrelevant.

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What's big, yellow and if it fell from a tree it would kill you? A JCB!

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The boy asks his dad if he can make him a sandwitch The dad reply's " no thats your moms job"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? How the hell should i know, i do not speak chicken.

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A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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how did the kid cut open his forehead? by putting on his underwear!

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Q: a man in a camry runs over his wife. who's fault is it? A: toyota and their breaks.

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Yo Momma's so fat......... that she should probably start eating healthy and exercising more regularly or else she may be at risk of developing heart disease or diabetes

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Why did the small child cry? He was forced to dig his own grave at gunpoint.

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A horse enter a bar, and the barman says: "why the long face?" The horse has cancer

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Want to hear a joke? No.

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So last night I was f**king my girlfriend and I flip her over and f**k her up the ass. Later we're sitting having a cigarette when she says, "you know it was pretty presumptuous of you to think you can just flip me over and f**k me up the ass." And I said, "presumptuous!? That's a pretty big word for a 5th grader."

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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ADAM FANTUZZI SUCKS KIRANS BALL SACK

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A muslim walks into a airport. He then boards his flight and is flown to his destination.

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you're momma's so fat, and i like fat chicks. is she home?

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What did the boy without arms get in his Christmas present? A pair of gloves. Just kidding, he didn't open it yet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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