Did you hear the one about the flying turtle? No? Okay I'll tell you about it. So one day there was a flying turtle. His name was Larry and he was a turtle that can fly. However, nobody believed that Larry can fly and he wanted to prove it. So the next day George, who was a flying octopus, called Jerry on his cell phone and told him a story about a Larry. Jerry, who was a media reporter, was so offended by his story and called the police. Question: What did the police say? Nothing because it was a made up story

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Why did the black man cross the road? To rape the girl on the other side.

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What happened to the guy who took more lineage then he should have? He went to sleep.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the slaughter house.

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the holocaust

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"Hello, is this the Krusty Krab?" "No, this is Patrick."

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Why did the skeleton cross the road? It didn't. Anyone who would believe that is a complete moron.

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Whats blue and flufft Answer: Blue Fluff

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How did the boy break his hand? He slammed it in a car door.

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Why was the asian a bad driver? Because while he was driving a leprechaun was punching him in the face.

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What do vampires cross the sea in?

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Why are Jews always so clean? Because they never come out of the shower.

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Have you seen the new Spiderman movie yet? No, Uncle ben hasn't seen it either.

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Why did the black man give his seat to a white man? Because the white man had a leg injury, and the black man was being a courteous good samaritan.

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Don't count your eggs before you put them in a basket.

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What's worse than a car going backwards on the highway? A steamroller going backwards on the highway.

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What's 9+10 Ebola

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There are two cows standing in a field eating grass. The first cow says "moo", the second cow says "Thats funny, I was about to say that".

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Why was the blonde sad? Her phone was broken due to an NNEMP.

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why did the man have an axe in his car he kills children with it

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Why couldn't the hobo buy any clothes? They did not have his size available.

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A dog was driving his car down the road right? Wrong dogs can't drive cars

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What did the Norwegian say to the Englisman? ØLølølølÅæåøåæøåæåæåæåæåæåæåæå

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roses are red so is ur face dont look at me like im a crazy bitch

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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