A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

What's the best part about having sex with a 9 year old in the shower? Pedophilia is a crime, and the people that do it are very sick individuals. The fact that you even thought there was a 'best' part disgusts me.

what did the left foot say to the right foot? Nothing, feet don't talk

A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

What starts with "P" and ends with "orn"? Popcorn

a white guy walks into a black guy bar who walks out. A. half black half white baby.

one time when i bought a sonic blast they gave me a regular? size spoon and i was like this is a huge inconvenience.

What do you call it? Whatever it is.

How do you scare a black man? You dont

Q:how do you save a black guy from drowning A: you shoot him

i am an arrow and i did not hit your knee!f

A man and a woman are having sex. The man finishes and says, "Oh, God, I hope you're on the pill." The girl says she isn't and begins to cry. Lacking a job or a stable life, the man leaves the woman. The woman has an abortion and suffers irreversible damage to her ovaries.

What did the man with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting mauled by a pack of hungry wolves

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I've lost my tractor!

what would happen if every overweight person in america jumped at the same time? they would all get a little exercise.

HOREY SHIT!! OMFG!! I win? Yeah I think so.. Wait. Why am I talking to myself.. Aww not again.. My doctor warned me about this.. D:

why did the person cross the road? to catch the chicken

Why did the feminist complain? that's what they do

What's black, white, and red all over?? A penguin that just got hit by a truck and is now struggling to live.

canada

why did the mexican stab those people? why? he didn't you racist

Doctor, Doctor. I think I've broke my arm! I'm going to refer you to the fracture clinic.

A:Whats the air speed velocity of a swallow? B:What an african or English swallow? A:Well I don't know that.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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