Why won't Santa be delivering presents this year? Because he can't be bothered.

The saying "When Pigs Fly" Can easily be canceled. Just tie a rocket and wings to it and let it go.

Whats round and bouncy? A bouncy ball

why was the woman in the kitchen? because societal standards placed her in such a situation

what do you get when you cross a broken arm and a broken leg? a broken head.

Why didn't the dog come to his master when it was called? It didn't have any legs.

Why did the boys shout ZACHATTACK? Because zach was attacking

B=boy G=girl B:hey i got a good nock nock joke but you have to start it G:okay nock nock B:whos there?

What succeeds most of the time? The population of a field with grass.

whats worst than finding a worm in your apple???? an apple in your worm.

People who are addicted to brake fluid just can't stop.

Billy wanted a toy for Christmas. Sadly, Billy died before Christmas.

An Asian woman is driving home from work and arrives in 30 minutes, which is strange because it normally does not take that long but she left during rush hour and the traffic was very bad at the time.

What did the mentally retarded man say to the Waiter who brought him his soup? Thanks for bringing me my soup.

why did the girl fall off the slide? she was pushed, by her dad...

How do you fix a chimpanzee? With a monkey wrench

How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to drop it and die of gas poisoning.

What did the contestant say to the game show host? If I don't win I will arrange to kill your family.

roses are red violet are blue what are you gonna do when chuck norris find you

Roses are red, violetsvare blue, I have aids, so do you

Why did Johnny close the door on Sally's face? Because Johnny is a dick.

Q. How do you kill 5000 flies? A. Slap a afraican in the face.

Whats on my leg? A pimple. What is it doing? Releasing a white/clear puss.

If you want to make the little things count, teach midgets maths!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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