What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A scholarship to a prestigious college that he did not deserve.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what do you call a cow on a rollercoaster? a very dangerous and unlikely event

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what do you call a black man who bakes bread? a baker. you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What are annoying? Ads.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why didnt Stevie Wonder wave back at the white man? Because he's a racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a Muslim on the moon? An astronaut

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's worse than the haulocost? Not much.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you fit 10 babies in a bowl? With a blender. How do you get them out of the bowl? You don't, you've already been arrested for multiple cases of infanticide.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Who are the faster readers? New Yorkers, they through 110 stories in 5 seconds

thumb_up thumb_down +16

An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman come across a magic slide. They each decide to take a turn. The Irishman goes first, sliding down and shouting "GOLD!", and finding himself in a pile of gold as he reaches the bottom. The Englishman slides down screaming "SILVER!", and lands in a heap of silver at the bottom. The Scotsman takes his turn, and shouts "WEEEE!" as he slides down. He gets up and realises what a needless waste of a wish his enjoyment cost him.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What was Hellen Keller's favorite color? Velcro.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

So a man walks into a bar and gets drunk.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Today, my house burned to the ground. FML.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who is there? Not Suzie

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was the little boy late for school? Because he was hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How much does a dead baby weight? the same amount when it was alive!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What was pauls mum screaming? Rape

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the librarian say at the heavy metal concert? Shhhhh

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you eat a candy cane? Shove it in your mouth and chew.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How was breakdancing inventented? From niggas trying to steal hubcaps of moving cars!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you make a tree angry Overall trees have no sense of emotion therefore it is impossible to anger a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops