- Anti Joke

What did the mom tell her son who she caught masticating loudly? "Do it with your mouth closed!"

Whats The difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash And one is a watermelon

Why'd the chicken cross the road? The chicken doesnt understand the concept of a street so it was most likely just wandering across the street

How do you know when you have had too much to drink? When you ran over 7 pedestrians and are lying in the back of a police vehicle

A young baby died.

Q: What's grey and can't climb trees A: A car park

Why did the chicken cross the road? Across the street was a strip mall containing a dry cleaners where he had to pick up his suit for his cousins wedding. The wedding caused controversy in the family considering she was jewish. He had a lot to drink and took a cab home, knowing the dangers of drunk driving in todays society. He had a great time.

- Knock Knock. - Who is it? - I am - I am what? - I am dying please help me. - Sorry, I don't speak with strangers.

What do you call a handsome nerd? The name that is on his birth certificate.

Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

Their was once a man named Bob Clemens who really wanted to have sex with an underage girl. So one day he went on an online chat site to find one. He ran into this young girl and told her all the things he wanted to do to her and she told him that she had never done anything and really wanted to try it. Bob went over to her house one day and she told him to sit down and grab some cookies while she came back. She came back and Bob gave her the roughest pounding that any human being could recieve.

Whats old and has been alone for years. Your dead nan

roses are blue violets are green I am colorblind

What did one bulbasaur say to one squirtle? Well, first off, pokemon are virtual animals created solely for the enjoyment of entertaining japanese children and causing seizure episodes. This fictional creation then migrated to an american tv market, still maintaining their superficial existence while continuing to promote slavery and the use of round balls that capture your problems and propagate winning through random ball throwing. They are fake, and as they are fake, the bulbasaur said "we are fake"

Q: What's worse than having a terrorist throw a fridge at you? A: World War 5

Barack Obama, Joe Biden, and the Devil all walk into a bar. Biden and Obama order a couple of beers and begin quietly conversing, while their security detail stands next to them. "The Devil" is actually a heavily tattooed performance artist, who in 1999 legally changed his name from Jim Larson. He has just gotten off work at his day job (a paralegal at a medium-sized firm), and is relaxing with a Johnnie Walker at the bar. Although he notices the president and vice president nearby, he has seen many politicians during his time working in DC, and so hardly pays attention.

Yo mama so short she often has to ask you to retrieve items from the top shelf of her cabinet.

There was once a really smart Hufflepuff.

Why couldn't the man stop dancing? Because he had Parkinson's.

A man walks into a dairy. Most people will not get this as it is cultural slang and they will think it is referring to dairy products.Oh well. This was going to be a good joke.

Whats a movie? A moving picture.

Why didn't Johns book get published? He had dyslexia.

Where did the RICH black man go to? His home

What do you call a mailman who doesn't deliver mail? Unemployed

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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