Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Spilling Dr. Pepper on your carpet

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What color is the orange? Grey, I'm color blind.

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How do you stop R Kelly from peeing on little girls? Kill all little girls.

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot was a tomato!!

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Where's my tractor?

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How do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The refrigerator is lying on its side and the door is ripped off. The food is all over the place and the shelves are scattered around the floor. Your house will have suffered severe structural damage that insurance plan might not cover. Also there is a mortified elephant in you kitchen.

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Your dad got tired while running, so he stopped running.

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What are three things an average teenager cannot live without? Oxygen, Food, and Water. Duh.

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A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer walk into a bar. They order some drinks, sit quietly and stare at their shoes until they've finished their drinks, then go back home and wallow in loneliness, wishing their social skills weren't so abysmal.

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Gay republicans

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Peter was sitting on a bench. He had a bag of 10 sweets and was eating them slowly. John and Anthony both wanted some, but Peter wanted to still have sweets left over. How many did he give them both? None. He's that selfish.

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Why did the girl stop running? Because she is in a wheelchair and will never walk again

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Why doesn't God like pizza? Because he doesn't exist.

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Customer: Waiter, waiter, there is a fly in my soup! Waiter: Sorry madam.

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When a mommy and a daddy love each other very much... and after being married for 39 years... They get divorced

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"What dosen't kill you makes you stronger" Except losing your arms.

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MATH: if for every 1 minute for billy is 5 minutes and every 5 minutes is an hour than billy is on acid and needs to come down.

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what's worse than than finding a worm up your ass? Death

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A man walked into a bar. He was only 19, but technically a man. Underage drinking is not O.K.

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What does an otter and a pencil sharpener have in common? They both feature in this joke

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Me: Ask me if I'm an orange. You: Are you an orange? Me: No

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what did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, They just waved.

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A black guy and a white girl are having sex. The white girl screams "I'm pregnant!!!!" The black guy says "i'll help you take care of it" "I love you sweetie and nothing will come between us"

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Q: Why did Sally fall off the swing? A: How the heck would I know? I don't Sally.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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