How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

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An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman come across a magic slide. They each decide to take a turn. The Irishman goes first, sliding down and shouting "GOLD!", and finding himself in a pile of gold as he reaches the bottom. The Englishman slides down screaming "SILVER!", and lands in a heap of silver at the bottom. The Scotsman takes his turn, and shouts "WEEEE!" as he slides down. He gets up and realises what a needless waste of a wish his enjoyment cost him.

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Superman wears chuck Norris pajamas Just kidding superman is a fictional character and is uncapable Of owning pajamas

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A scholarship to a prestigious college that he did not deserve.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What's worse than the haulocost? Not much.

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So a man walks into a bar and gets drunk.

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What do you call a Muslim on the moon? An astronaut

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Who are the faster readers? New Yorkers, they through 110 stories in 5 seconds

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Why didnt Stevie Wonder wave back at the white man? Because he's a racist.

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Today, my house burned to the ground. FML.

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i like punching orphans in the face, you wanna know why? what are they gonna do? tell their parents???

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ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE HERE'S A KNIFE KILL YOURSELF KANE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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There was once a really smart Hufflepuff.

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What do you call a mailman who doesn't deliver mail? Unemployed

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When life gives you lemons, Life isn't actually a person so saying that would be irrelevant

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Why couldn't the man stop dancing? Because he had Parkinson's.

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whats funnier than a banana an orange -may bieber

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Being unaware of his surroundings, the chicken was startled by an oncoming motor vehicle. Due to the animals vapid logic an reasoning, based on impulse it quickly ran to the other side of the street to avoid its imminent death by the speeding automobile. Unknowingly, the chicken had reached the other side of the road,

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Teacher: Pop quiz time class. Sally, what year did we first land on the moon? Sally: It was 1969. Teacher: That is correct. Larry, who killed JFK? Larry: What? I didn't do it, I wasn't even born yet! Teacher: Just answer the question Larry: But sir, I swear I would never do that. You have to believe me. Teacher: Larry, you're an idiot

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what happened when the shoe turned into a shoe.......... nothing, it was a raisin

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What does an elephant and a grape have in common? One of them is purple.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To collect it's AIDS medication.

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The past, the present and the future walk into a bar. It was tense.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops