Who are the faster readers? New Yorkers, they through 110 stories in 5 seconds

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Seriously, I am going to tell you, but you know, what would you have preferred that it was if you could choose, I am kinda insecure about these things, and people can read these messages so...

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What did one fat chick say to the other fat chick? Who cares, they're fat.

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Why did thomas make a big mess on the ground? Beacuse he fell of a cliff

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what is long, white, and used almost everywhere? there are a lot of things that fit this description, so it would be highly illogical to make a guess.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar and no one notices because it's just a little insect.

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Three guys walk into a bar. First guy goes up to the bartender and orders a beer. Second guy goes up and orders 2 beers. Third guy sits down and saves seats for the other two guys.

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My dad calls me a son of a bitch and I'm like "hey! You married her"

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your momma is so poor that she is on welfare.

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What does a shortstop do when the ball is by third base? He leaves the field to go to the hospital, his little sister just had a heart attack.

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What do you call a man with a gun in his mouth? Keith.

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stephen hawking walks into a bar...

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How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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Do you know what's hilarious? Not rape.

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If pro- is good or favored and con- is bad, then why do people favor the constitution and stay away from prostitution?

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What is the difference between a Jew and a Muslim? Their religion.

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Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school today? Because it is Saturday

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why did the homeless man die? because everyone does.

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If there's somethin' strange in your neighborhood Who ya gonna call 911

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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If you woke up in the morning feeling like P Diddy, get tested. Immediately.

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A man with no legs walks into a bar. Just kidding...

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roses are red tulips are too, violets are violet, not freaking blue.

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What's Funny About A Black Man Being Shot? Nothing, That Man Was My Friend.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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