Why did the fat guy survive the the plane crash? He was late to get up due to a malfunctioning alarm clock and so missed his flight, sparing him of the tragic outcome the other passengers suffered. To this day he still thinks about how a completely random occurrence saved his life.

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Why couldnt Helen Keller drive? Because She was Blind you sexist asshole

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How did the guy survive the plane crash? He didnt, He died like everybody else.

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How do you make a Cowboy cry? You kill his family.

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why was the pen mad at the pencil? it wasnt. objects don't have feelings

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Get out".

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How do you piss of camon? Have sex with shelby!

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What has four wheels and flies? A pile of poop that's on four wheels.

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What did the homosexual get for Christmas off his boyfriend? A lovely present off his loving partner.

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What the flower say to the bird. Nothing

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How do you earn a bunch of money all at once? Walk into Hot Topic and say "I have knives for sale!"

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In the movie Dark Skies, little white boys were haunted by a mysterious force. The answer is obvious, isn't it? They are being haunted by Michael Jackson's ghost.

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a blind person walks into a deaf person and the deaf person says "dadadader"

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So there was a guy in the middle of the street, how did he survive? ...He doesnt because he gets hit by a car becuase hes in the middle of the street...

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How many gays does it take to change a lightbulb? It's COMPLETELY circumstantial.

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whats funnier than anti jokes nothing

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What starts with P and ends with "oop" POOP

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Why doesn't Hitler drink whiskey? Because it makes him mean.

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A small child walks past a man on the street: Fortunately, as the man hates children he is perfect height to let a massive fart rip in his face on the way past. His mum looks disgusted. They carry on with their day.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no one can draw a perfect circle

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What's big, old, and brown? A tree.

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What did Stevie Wander get for christmas? A book

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Let's play twenty questions. Alright, but I have to warn u I have piss running down my leg

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Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. The first polar bear says, "Pass the soap." The second polar bear replies, "No soap, radio." OMG YOU DON'T GET IT?!?!?!?! NOOB

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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