If George Washington was the first president, and Barack Obama is the latest, how old is my grandma?

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It's okay, I got the yogurt.

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whats the difference between ian bothom and david gower? shredded wheat.

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whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a red corvette? i don't have a red corvette in my garage

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Q: Hey, wanna hear a joke? A: Sure! Q: Alright, cool. *leaves*

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Knock Knock Who's there? My fist

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It was a beautiful day. Face.

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What did the Joker say to Batman? Why are we wearing these stupid costumes

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What's twelve inches long and makes women scream? Crib death.

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How do you stop your baby crawling in circles? Pick it up and smother it.

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why did the black man apply for a job at kfc? His family was in debt after the loss of his father.

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What's the best thing about the Pixies? Their music.

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why did Sarah fall out of the swing? she had no arms. Knock knock. who's there? not Sarah.

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What's smaller then a midget? A baby midget.

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Morning wood.

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You know what's worse than finding a real joke on antijoke.com? AIDS

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How do you paint a wall red? Throw a baby at it.

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How do you kill a polar bear? Global Warming.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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Why couldn't the old man see? He was deaf

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Why Tom is Gay ? Because brocoly didnt eat a mashroom .

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There are two angry guys in a park on their lunch break What do they do? They eat their sandwich and go back to work to settle a peace treaty.

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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