There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a good, New England family man

A blonde went to a hair dresser's one day, listening to a walkman. The hair dresser asked her what she wanted, and the blonde replied, "I need to get my hair trimmed, just make sure that you do not take these headphones off." The woman looked at the blonde, surprised, but did as she was told. While she was brushing the blonde's hair, she accidentally bumped the headphones, knocking them to the ground. As she bent down to pick them up, the blonde fell over, onto the floor. The hair dresser was very confused. She picked up the head phones and listened. This is what she heard..."breath in...breath out...breath in...breath out..."!

Why did the chicken cross the road? Unfortunately there are billions of chickens in the world and based on the question it is not possible to determine which specific chicken is being referred to. Even if we were able to ascertain this knowledge it would be unlikely that we could determine its purpose, as chickens don't usually make decisions based on logical thought.

A boy in Bible class was poking a girl in front of him with a pencil. Atfer, maybe ten minutes of this, she was asked "Sarah, what did Eve say to Adam after they had had twenty-seven children" The boy poked her with the pencil again. She stood up, and said "I think we have enough kids Adam."

roses are red turtles are random. cancer

What do u get when u lick chicken Answer- Your a retard if you did not figure it out it is obviously chicken taste DERP!

What's black and white and red all over? Nothing.

why did the kid drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by the ice cream van

how many jews does it take to change a lightbulb? none, they hire mexicans to do it

Why did the little boy fall down? Be he had the downs.

Roses are red Violets are blue i have a gun get in the van

What was the best part of the holocaust? A: none of it, it was a terrible event in history and hopefully is never repeated

stinky boner

Why did the white kid tear up while watching a segment on slavery? He got something in his eye.

Why did the dog cross the road? Because he saw another dog

hi

A baby walks into a bar, not long before it leaves out of the bar.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. This poem sucks. I like math!

What is black, white, and red all over? A zebra that was shot by poachers.

Read a Book.

Why couldn'nt Sally swing on the swing? Because Sally was a carrot

Why did the white policeman shoot all the black people in a house and not the white people Because the black guys were holding the white guys hostage

Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

Two gophers are in a tank One of them says how the heck do you drive this thing?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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