How long does it take a person to steal a television? Many variables could determine said ability to successfully steal a television. Such variables depend on sub-variables such as weight of the television, whether the television is a store, an upper-class citizen's home, or in a "ghetto" apartment. A main variable could be the race of the thief in question. African Americans are scientifically more likely to steal a television faster compared to a Caucasian. Yet a downside to being an African American is the fact that they are more likely to be called in for questioning or arrested on the spot at their broken down home. Caucasians are less likely to be questioned and if caught will most likely obtain the proper amount of bribery money in which to pay off the police.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a good, New England family man

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Unfortunately there are billions of chickens in the world and based on the question it is not possible to determine which specific chicken is being referred to. Even if we were able to ascertain this knowledge it would be unlikely that we could determine its purpose, as chickens don't usually make decisions based on logical thought.

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A blonde went to a hair dresser's one day, listening to a walkman. The hair dresser asked her what she wanted, and the blonde replied, "I need to get my hair trimmed, just make sure that you do not take these headphones off." The woman looked at the blonde, surprised, but did as she was told. While she was brushing the blonde's hair, she accidentally bumped the headphones, knocking them to the ground. As she bent down to pick them up, the blonde fell over, onto the floor. The hair dresser was very confused. She picked up the head phones and listened. This is what she heard..."breath in...breath out...breath in...breath out..."!

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A boy in Bible class was poking a girl in front of him with a pencil. Atfer, maybe ten minutes of this, she was asked "Sarah, what did Eve say to Adam after they had had twenty-seven children" The boy poked her with the pencil again. She stood up, and said "I think we have enough kids Adam."

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A duck walks into a bar and says, "Put it on my bill"

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Yo mama's so skinny, she should probably go in for eating disorders' counseling.

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A drum and a cymbal fall off a cliff...

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why did suzy get hit by the bus because she got dumped into the road and she had no legs

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what has four legs but cant move? dead dog

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why do elephants paint them selves green ..... to blend into snooker tables. have u ever seen an elephant on a snooker table .... thats just how good they are.

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Have you heard of the Armenian genocide? No? Me neither.

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What was the best part of the holocaust? A: none of it, it was a terrible event in history and hopefully is never repeated

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Why did the white kid tear up while watching a segment on slavery? He got something in his eye.

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hi

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stinky boner

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Why did the dog cross the road? Because he saw another dog

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Why did the little boy fall down? Be he had the downs.

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how many jews does it take to change a lightbulb? none, they hire mexicans to do it

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Roses are red Violets are blue i have a gun get in the van

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why did the kid drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by the ice cream van

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how does chuck norris eat an apple Just like every other person

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A terrorist.

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What did the Mexican shoe salesman say to the man? Excuse me, do you whih way to main street?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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