- Anti Joke

What's green and has wheels? The Holocaust. I lied about everything.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Why isn't Pluto a planet? Because it mutilated my dog

oh my god! what? i heard this joke the other day and it was hilarious. ok, tell me? actually it doesn't matter i can't remember anyway.

There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

Why do black people like fried chicken? Because it tastes good.

Two men walk into a bar. An hour later another man sees them knocked out on the ground. Q: What Happened A: They walked into a BAR.

why did the boat float up to the sky? because everybody on it died including the boat...

Whats sad about a black man killing himself? That shaft DVD that he rented will probably be late now.

Why did the Muslim boy crash a plane into a building? Because the remote-controlled plane suddenly malfuctioned and crashed into a nearby apartment complex.

what do you call people who keep reffering to the holocost , and cancer sufferers on this site? sad and sick individuals

Q: How many Marys does it take to drive you crazy? A: Just one ::stares at Mary Annoyingly::

what do you do when see a young girl crying on the swingset? ask her kindly to move, as you would like a turn

Why didnt Steve Jobs make an iphone 5? He died

why did the Chinese guy take steroids? He didn't he's naturally small.

suzy took a bath with bubbles what?......... I'm sure bubbles is a nice guy

How does Justin Bieber remove a condom? he farts

What did the unicorn say to the horse? I have a horn and you don't.

how do you remove a black man from a car? Wash the bumper

Why wasn't Abraham Lincoln a good president? Because he got shot in the head and died.

What did the giraffe say to the other giraffe. Nothing, giraffes are animals and thus cannot speak

a priest, a rabbi, and a nun walk into a bar...and the bartender goes...what is this a joke? mr. healey

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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