I am tying up hostages. - Ethan R. 2015

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What did the kid say to the ice-cream Man Can I have a duck please

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Q: Why did the boy fall off his bicycle? A: Because someone threw a fridge at him.

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I'm not saying my mother-in-law is fat, because she is anorexic.

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Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school today? Because it is Saturday

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If life gives you melons, you have dyslexia.

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It's not just a boulder. It's a rock! A rooooocckk!

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Why didn't Jesus like Pizza? Because Pizza doesn't exist.

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What do you call it, when a jew makes fun of a black guy? Racism.

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What did Voldermort say to harry potter? i raped you mum last night!

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what comes in tube and smells like toothpaste? toothpaste

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Why was the girl sad? Because borat came had DA SEXI TIME with yo mother in law:)

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Yo momma so ugly..... what more do you want

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Why didnt the man make it to work? Because he was in a fatal car accident.

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Little Susie fell of the swings. Where did she go? On the ground.

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What did the baby get for his birthday? An Abortion.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The bailiffs, we have come to take your house

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What's old and baggy? An old bag.

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Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because his face was stapled to the wall.

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How do you make an electrician cry? Kill his family.

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What do a mole and an eagle have in common? They both live underground apart from the eagle.

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While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

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A black man walks into a bar in Alabama, he then proceeds to have a couple of drinks and leaves.

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What do 2 arabs say to each other in a super-market? For those of you who don't know your history, the true Lebanese are Phonecians. As such, they are not Ishmaelites/Arabs. They are from the house of Jaffeth. the youngest of Noah's sons. Arabs are from the house of Shem (i.e., Shemites/Semites), the oldest of Noah's sons, and Hamm, Noah's middle son who fathered Cannah with his mother. Haggar, the woman with whom Abraham fathered Ishmael, was a Cannonite. As such, Ishmael, the father of the Arabs, is half Semetic and half Hammetic. The true Lebanese are neither. Furthermore, the first non-Jewish Christian church was established with the Gentiles (the children of Jaffeth) in Lebanon. And then the shop blew up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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