What did the bank teller say after the man asked for a pen? Would you prefer black or blue?

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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What do you call a cow who can't produce milk? Utter failure.

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What happened to the boy that got hit by a bus? He was by a 2nd bus, by which he felt no pain because the first bus crushed his lungs and skull causing suffocation and profuse hemorraging.

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What did chad do when he found the grape? He ate it.

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No because your face is really f***** up.

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What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu? If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment.

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What's better then finding an apple in the Holocaust? Finding a tunnel under the fence.

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Why did Bruno Mars explode? He caught a grenade for ya.

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Why did the seagull fly over the sea, It had wings.

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Two guys walk into a bar, and they ordered two drinks. Then the bartender said, "Two dollars, please." - Brandie PANG

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Why did the Jew pick up the quarter on the sidewalk? Because he was going to buy a candy bar and was short 25 cents.

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LET'S PLAY CARDS SHUFFLE THE DECK *person with a deck-patio* no please don't

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Why couldn't the black man get his lawnmower to start? He was too poor to own a home =)

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360 NO SCOPE

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A man, a woman and their child wen to a restaurant. There was a horse in it and they left. The Holocaust begun

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "I have a gambling problem."

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Who pushed joe off the building? Nobody. joe hated his life and wanted to die

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How does a black man get down the stairs? He walks.

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Whats black and yellow and is funny when its falling off a cliff? A bus full of niggers.

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So a man walks into a bar. Unfortunately, he had brittle bone disease, cracked open his skull and bled to death on the pavement.

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What is the difference between a woman and a whale? One has big whiskers and is fat and filthy, the other one lives in the sea and is a mammal

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Yo momma is so poor when she went to the bank the teller was like " you have no money."

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Q: whats the difference between a t.v and a dead baby? A: i don't have a t.v in my garage

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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