How do you get a drummer off your doorstep? Ask politely.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm colorblind.

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How can you know your roommate is gay? His dick has the taste of shit

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Ya. Ya Who? Dot Com.

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What is pink and gets wet a tounge

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What do you call an awesome bucket? An epic pail.

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A man walks into a barbershop. He gets a crew cut and leaves.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get the bag.

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What did the White guy say to the balck guy? "How are you?"

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Oh NOES! She does worry about me! YOU MUST APOLOGIZE! Relax, the body has two sources of happy drugs, one is the sweet calm stuff I am really bad at, and the other comes with adrenaline and stuff, the name of which I do not remember, both are important, but yeah, I am a thrill seeker, and when I do not find them, I make a thrill out of whatever I got, whatever that means.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimers Who the hell are you?

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What do you get when you mix a teenager with a tanning bed? Cancer

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Why did Little Suzy get hit by a truck? Well the real question is, "Why was Little Suzy in the road," so why was she? Because she felt like it.

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Sigh... I gotta go to night class studies okay?

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a PS3? Michael was a succesful dancer, singer-songwriter, musician, and philanthropist, whereas a PS3 is a games console.

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One kisses says: I have had 3 bottles of water today and I haven't peed yet. His friend says: O you probably have a urinary track infection.

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Rebecca Blacks walk into a bar. She gets shot.

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What did the black guy say to the other black guy? We are both black

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i have no friends actually now i fell bad ... anybody spare money for the bus ahhhhhhh kill me now

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What's got four legs but can't move by itself? A chair.

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Q: What did the newborn dumpster baby say to the raccoon? A: Nothing. Newborn babies cannot talk.

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A white man is found dead in an alley way, who was the murderer? The black guy trying to climb up the walls to escape.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

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How did the guy survive the plane crash? He didnt, He died like everybody else.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops