What do you do if you walk in on your wife atempting to hang herself in the living room? Ask her to leave the living room, as it would be ironic.

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Skrillex.

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Why did the blond girl walk into the street pole? Because she wasn't paying attention.

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What is black and bad for your teeth? A cannon ball

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When did Rick Santorum realize he was gay? When we woke up with a bloody condom in his ass.

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J- Jiggly E- Enormous S- Sad S- Smelly E- Ethiopian

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Roses are blue Colton is gay

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What's worse than finding a worm on your apple? Trench foot on your eyebrow.

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What do you call an old lady walking down the street? Widowed.

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What do you call a black man driving a expensive sports car? A respectable member of society

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I was watching Fox news.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Rivkee Rivkee who? RIVKEEEEE FIRETRUCK!

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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How do you get babys to paint a house? depends on how hard you throw them

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Why did the black man buy a gun? Because he and his family live in a dangerous neighborhood.

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I'd like to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather did. Not screaming in terror like the rest of te people in his car.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because dinosaurs died out 65.5 million years ago.

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A man walks into a clothing store, he calls his wife, buys a shirt, and leaves.

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What did the vegetarian order for lunch? A dead baby.

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What do you get when you don't wear protection? A baby.

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Two cows are standing on the top of North Pole and in a half-inch wind they're spanking a bottle of coconut jam. Suddenly two infrared gallopping fly past them. What's the consequence? That people shouldn't use freshly peeled lemoncakes on underwater cornfields.

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Why was six afraid of seven? 7 is greater than 6. Didn't you learn about number lines in 3rd grade?

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How do you get a drummer off your doorstep? Ask politely.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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