What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Phil, because that's his name.

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Jake: Where's Waldo Me: Where? Jake: I don't know

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Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by two giant black scorpions.

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I hated hipsters before hating hipsters was mainstream. Does that make it sound like I have a fixed gear bicycle? Because I don't... I promise... What's a fixed gear bicycle, you ask? You mean you don't know???

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What has 4 black legs, a green back, and will kill you if it falls on you? A pool table.

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What is a mean thing to say to Stephen Hawking? Please take a seat.

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What happens when you cross a Mexican and a Chinese man? A multiracial man.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Jehovah's Witness

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? All of them.

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Two black guys walk into a bar. The bartender says "what are you doing here" and the black guys say "to get a drink"....

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How do you make an emo kid cry? He already is.

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A young boy is concerned about the well- being of his father, due to the fact he may have cancer. Turns out, he doesn't. So they got ice cream.

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one time, there was this anti-joke.com joke set-up. It was just like a normal joke set-up. was the anti-joke punchline effective, artful of funny at all? no. it was a plain statement of some facts without consideration for humor. it gets old after you read like 50 of them. it gets REALLY. F*CKIN. OLD.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

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Why could'nt Susie talk? The mafia cut out her tounge

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What do you call a black man in the south? An example of diverse America

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What do you call a horse with bread on its ears? Boris, because that's his name.

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Why did the italian go to jail? because he had just robbed a bank and then brutally murdered his wife and kids.

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Q)Why doesn't the blond have a job? A) he is 12

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What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

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I needed to write an article about heart disease so I did some research. I learned a lot.

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Why was the Asian terrible at driving? He was drunk.

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A black man walks into a bar and a white man says "we don't allow coloured men in here". the black man sighs and walks out, wondering what he ever did wrong, and makes his way to the liqour store, to buy some beer to drown his sorrows over his mothers death. On the way, a racist white man shoots and kills him. Then, at his funeral, someone makes the joke "Wow, how ironic. The black guy was the victim.."

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What did the traffic light say to the car? dont look at me am changing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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