Knock knock It's open, come in

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get hit by a car and die.

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Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Green paint.

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why did Dayrl win the wheelchair race? Because he had working legs.

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roses are grey violets are grey so says my color blind cousin

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What's worse than eating poop for your whole life? Nothing really, you've got serious problems if you have another option...

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Why did the little girl fall to death? Because pigs can't fly. It's impossible.

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Teacher: Why didn't you do your homework? Student: My friends told me not to. Teacher: So if your friends tell you to go jump off a bridge, would you do it? Student: Well, it all depends on if I land on a fat kid. Like Chubb. Chubb: Yeah, I know, my eating habit, i-i-its a big problem. -Payden R.

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Knock knock! Who's there? A doorbell-salesman

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One kid says I've had threw bottles of water and I haven't had to go to the bathroom. His friend says may have a urinary tract infection.

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What is life? Paul.

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whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Gingers

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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Knock knock Who's there Fookie Fookie Who? Fook you too

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When life gives you lemons you squirt them in someones eyes and steal what life gave them.

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whats funnier than womens rights? ottos weight

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why did the mexican steal the money? because he was financially struggling and needed the money to support his family

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Why did the boy stop working on a farm? His country became more economically developed.

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Its a bird!! Its a plane!! No, its a bird.

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ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSUCKMYDICK

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? Cause the branch broke. Why did the baby fall out of the tree?Cause it was stapled to the cat.

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How do you kill a black person? Make them skydive 10,000 feet in the air without a parachute

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Your mom is so fat that she sat on a rock.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops