Why did the chicken cross the road? To get hit by a car and die.

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Teacher: Why didn't you do your homework? Student: My friends told me not to. Teacher: So if your friends tell you to go jump off a bridge, would you do it? Student: Well, it all depends on if I land on a fat kid. Like Chubb. Chubb: Yeah, I know, my eating habit, i-i-its a big problem. -Payden R.

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What is life? Paul.

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Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Green paint.

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whats funnier than womens rights? ottos weight

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Knock knock Who's there Fookie Fookie Who? Fook you too

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Why scooby-doo likes cookies? Because he's chub!

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roses are grey violets are grey so says my color blind cousin

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why did Dayrl win the wheelchair race? Because he had working legs.

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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Bitch

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Why did the little girl fall to death? Because pigs can't fly. It's impossible.

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whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Gingers

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Ubisoft 'Very Impressed' By Pokemon Go, Working on AR game of their own.

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When life gives you lemons you squirt them in someones eyes and steal what life gave them.

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What's worse than a black guy? Two black guys....and a dead white man.

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Why did Muhammad pray to Jesus? Because he has low self esteem and didn't believe in himself.

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What's worse than eating poop for your whole life? Nothing really, you've got serious problems if you have another option...

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender asked: "Why the long face?" The horse said: "My wife just died."

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What do u call a white hourse with no ass Penelope

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One kid says I've had threw bottles of water and I haven't had to go to the bathroom. His friend says may have a urinary tract infection.

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What do you call a purple apple? Bruised.

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What do you get if you pour water over a firework? A wet firework

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roses are red violets are blue im much younger than i look;)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops