Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except for the cases when you die...then you are dead.

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What do you call a cow without legs? Disabled.

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Jesus walks into a bar, the bartender shoot the zombie

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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What did the sleepy man say to his wife? I'm sleepy.

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roses are red violets are blue wanna hear a joke? WNBA....

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I wear my sunglasses at night. I'm always getting into car accidents.

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What did the farmer say to the duck? I don't know, but the duck doesn't give a f.....

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Why did the cop hate black people? He was a racist.

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Knock Knock Who's there? John John who? John Williams.

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Bläeghen-Fassybìll-No?cheb!

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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How do you get Jake snow to shut up? Say shut up

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A plane crashes in a polish cemetery the authorities have found 2000 bodies

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How many moose does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, it is biologically and theoretically impossible for a moose to climb a ladder and screw in a light bulb.

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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What's big, red and delicious? A prune. I lied about it being big, red and delicious.

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Why did Gary have severe learning difficulties? Because his mother drank a lot of alcohol while she was pregnant, and it harmed his development significantly.

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Why did Fred fall off the bike? He was a shoe.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by a bus

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He has no legs.

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A Mormon walks into a bar

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Why are blondes so dumb? They aren't dumb they just have prejudice against them

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It was Jimmy's 18th bday so his parents let him have the house to himself. He ate shrooms, fucked his turtle, then had his dick bitten off.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops