my wife out of the kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did Jesse's friend say to Jesse? Hello Jesse

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why couldn't the blonde count to 70? because 69 was a mouth full:)

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man rode into town on Friday and came out on Friday how did he manage this? He stayed for a couple of hours

thumb_up thumb_down +4

a guy on the street throws a boy between 2 priests

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats funnier than a dead baby? Pretty much anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball? A blonde is a human woman and a bowling ball is an inanimate object used for the popular sport of bowling.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all stuck on a desert island together. They eventually succumb to dehydration and heat exhaustion. They lasted five days.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the boy find I'n his water? Ice

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do apples and black men both have in common? They are both people except for the apple

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between a Jew and a bar of soap? You don't rub your balls with a Jew.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

yay for the idiot that posted "whats white, sticky and yummy? milk". WTF dude? milk has never been sticky and good at the same time and its never going to be. infact, ive never known milk to be sticky, maybe after such a long period of being spoiled the milk becomes somewhat sticky, but your attempt at creating a perverted joke that wasnt in anyway funny or even close to being correct was so poor i feel the need to post this and hope you read it and decide returning to school would be beneficial to the rest of your life. I guarantee everyone who reads your post about milk being sticky is thinking something pretty similar to what i am.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man wakes up in his bed and looks at the clock. He realises he is gonna be late for work. He quickly gets out of bed, into the bathroom, has a shower, puts his deodorant on and brushes his teeth, gets dressed, and goes in his car. He drives out of his garage and drives to his work but gets stuck in traffic. He then gets to the car park of his work and parks his car. He gets out, goes up the elevator to his floor, when the elevator door opens to his floor, he quickly says hello to Terrance and goes to his bosses office. And guess what the boss says? You're late.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are shitty Violets are bitches I'm fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the man take a shower?, he didint smell so good...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Top 10 Signs You Might Be Lonely and in Need of a Friend 10. Your closest friend has a skull tattooed on his knuckles and goes by the nickname bruiser. 9. You are becoming a little too fond of chess and pocket protectors. 8. You parents complain that your friends are a "Pack of wild chickens"-and it's not a figure of speech. 7. You follow your mailman around in hopes of a good conversation. 6. A cop pulls you over for speeding, and you add him to your Chistmas card list. 5. Your equation for a snappy party = TV remote + bean dip. 4. You forward e-mail jokes to yourself regularly. 3. You six best friends are Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, Joey, Ross, and Rachel. 2. You've named all of your roaches. 1. Phone solicitors hang up on you!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? Because it was summer and the grass had extensive growth, so much so, that it proceeded to spread to his neighbors yard. His neighbor then called HOA, and thus, the unruly grass was taken care of.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Your mom is so stupid that she was unable to make it into the college of her choice.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's the difference between Asians and buckets? I don't use Asians to scoop water out of the lake.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Your mom is so fat she decided to get out of bed and exercise because she realized her health would become serious and wanted ot do something about it.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a cow that's not cooked? A cow

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was a free-range chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do Sylvia Plath and a cake have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops