Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He chickened out.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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i was born with 99 medical problems, and the difficulty to count till 100.

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Why did Michael dye. Because he was dyslexic and a plain fell on his noggin.

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What color was the black guy's skin? Brown

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How do you remind your kids of family? You brand them with the family crest.

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how many dumbasses does it take to make a kushagra

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Hey, do you want to play the rape game ? NO! That's the spirit

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boy and girl are flipping a coin, coin lands on heads, boy: get down bitch

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What do you get when you cross a bus full of cancer patients and a train full of children? A very sad train accident.

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What has seven legs and cant walk? A paraplegic, and I lied about five of those legs.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? The pizza does not scream in the oven

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What did they do with the drunken sailor? Gave him the sack, which meant he could no longer provide for his family.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ash Oh hey Ash, I was expecting you, come on in!!

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A jew is a person contending to the faith of Judaism, and a pizza is an Italian flat normally round or square baked good consisting of dough, tomato sauce, cheese and various spices, and is sometimes enjoyed with toppings such as meat or vegetables

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Your mama's so stupid she brought syrup to the quidditch world cup because she knew there would be quaffles!

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How much dub could a dubstep dub if a dubstep could step dub?

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What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to prom. First he goes to get a tux but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he hast to get some flowers so he goes to a florist and there is a huge flower line there. It takes forever but he gets the flowers. Next he heads to get a limo, unfortunately there is a long limo line at the rental office and it takes a long time but he gets the job done. Finally the day of the prom comes and the two are dancing happily and are having a good time. When the song is over she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there is no punchline.

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How much cabbage is in sean's teeth? lots, like it's rotting in there

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What is the difference between a pillow and a rock The rock could hert you.

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in a car crash an entire family is killed from death until they all die

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A mother is sitting with her son at the park. A nearby man suddenly breaks into uncontrollable coughing. The mother leans over to her son and whispers, 'Smoker's cough.' The son never takes up smoking.

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar and order two beers

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops