Why was the baby crying? He saw a nigga

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown, sued the water company, bought a huge settlement and ran off with that slut Little Bo Peep.

Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If Beauty Exits ... The Heck Are You?

Whats The difference between a soccer mom and a pit bull? One's a dog ones a human. 363\

How can you make a Russian happy? Giving him two tickets for him and his wife to Disneyworld.

Why did the girl run over the road? Her buttons rolled to the other side! (From a book called... Al-capone does my shirts) (Natilie)

I know there are, its not the illuminati, its not reptilian shapeshifters, nor Gods politicians nor the human condition. Its society today as it stands, they did not have the right to attack us, but if we had surpassed them, they would have lost all power, they are the relics of the past, and no matter how many of them stand, they do not grow, and what does not grow, stagnates until it finally dies. Lose hope in people most all you want, but not in the few that truly believe in you for all the good reasons in the world, perhaps we are idealists, or maybe we know that with you by our side, what we see as ideals, is something you can make come true.

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "I'm going to kill everyone you've ever loved you fucking cocksucker, you think you can get away with sleeping with my wife? You better think again kiddo I will take away everything from you until you are reduced to a smoldering ruin of what you once was, mark my words bitch."

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was in a van headed to the slaughterhouse.

jumping jelly beans theirs a snake in my booties,, ooooooo har har ya ya youve got that one thing baby peace love and applesauce baby!!!!1

Roses are red Violets are blue Flesh is green When the dead start to rise you're on my team

What Do you call two black guys on a bike? A two person bike

Why did the man drink a glass of water? Why not?

I told my friend one of these anti-jokes, he took it seriously and beat my head with a bat.

Tim is a bald headed prick with an annoying voice and he looks like a clean shaven Walter White if he was on the same drugs that he was making and he looks like he smokes too much because the wrinkles on his forehead look like lips.

Knock, knock Who's there? It's me Me who? Just open your damn door funny guy it's freezing out here I don't get it

whats pink, brown, and smells like a banana. monkey vomit?

man:"gullible is written on the celling" boy looks up

How do you tell if a black man is ok? Poke it with a very long pole and keep your distance...

Badabing.

Why did the fat man fall off the swing? Because he weighed 855 pounds and it broke.

A blonde heard that 90% of all crimes occur within a one-mile radius of the home, so she had a security alarm installed.

Me:hey paul did you see that story on the news? Paul:ya i did thats really crazy!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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