why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Why is cancer a big thing? -It has grown after the diagnoses

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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What did the farmer say when the potatoes were ready for harvest? The potatoes are ready for harvest.

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What do a goat and an eagle have in common? They both can fly, except for the goat.

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Q. What time is your appointment with the Chinese dentist? A. 20 past 4

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Whats worse than a dead baby? Two dead babys.

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knock knock who's there? the police, we have a warrant for your arrest.

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Yo' momma is so old she should probably go to the doctor and check her health so she can live a longer, more healthy life.

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What's better than winning gold in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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What did the traffic light say to the car? dont look at me am changing.

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Why cant Sally ride her bike? Because she has ceribal pausly

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Why did little Suzie spill her drink? Since birth, she has lacked a jaw.

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Q:What did the deaf kid say to the blind kid? A: nothing deaf kids can't talk they can only have conversations with their hands,which would be pretty useless at this moment cause the blind kid can't see his hand guestures

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Why can't Benitio Mussolini win the war? Becuase he's dead.

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What did the confused blonde girl ask to a nearby student? Why is there a man painted green throwing forks at me

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What did the underaged man say when he walked in the bar? He asked for a Coke.

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

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Writing is hard Poems are strong I am muslim And this is a bomb.

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Why does Matt Daly do in his free time? it involves his finger and his own buttwhole

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What has two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

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Q. What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? A. An ambulance due to the fact that he has a rather serious head wound.

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What's worse than getting raped by a bear? Getting raped by two bears.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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