If you know someone with the last name Schmidt. ALWAYS ask him to take a Schmidt on your chest

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your mother eats so many chocolates and sugary confectionary that i would recommend a check up the the dentist.

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When geese migrate, why is one side of the V longer than the other? There are more birds on that side.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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What did the plane say to the ground when they hit each other Boom

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Porn

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yo mamas so ugly she is often made fun of andridiculed about her appearance.

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-Knock! Knock! -Who's there? -Bob. Is Brian's here? -Wrong adress. Brian's home is the first one at your right. -Oh sorry. Have a nice day.

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Why does it get hot after a basketball game? Because of the crowd all breathing out carbon dioxide and the high level of activity generating excess body heat.

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Two cows are standing on the top of North Pole and in a half-inch wind they're spanking a bottle of coconut jam. Suddenly two infrared gallopping fly past them. What's the consequence? That people shouldn't use freshly peeled lemoncakes on underwater cornfields.

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What's faster than a black man running with a VCR? His son with the receipt of purchase as they realize VCR's are clearly outdated and must be returned right away.

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I have read and agreed to the terms of service

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What happens when you turn the TV on? You watch it.

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whats up with the irish jokes? Honestly im not a alcoholic so all of you can go F*** yourselfs...

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Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? Who me? Couldn't be.

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why did the boy scream? because he got shot.

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Inspirational speaker: "You can judge a man by the way he treats those who can do nothing for him." Me: "Hitler loved dogs."

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"Do you have Prince Albert in a can?" "No." "Good. Tobacco causes cancer."

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender immediately shoots it in the face with a double barrel shotgun, ending the rabid animal's life

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What is black and white and red all over? A pile of dead, bleeding, mixed race babies.

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Woman are equal and deserve respect just kidding they should suck my ****

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Why did they bury the fireman at the side of the hill? Because he was dead

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Why are humans and squirrels the same? They both live in trees except for the human

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Why was the white man chosen for the job over the black guy? He had more work experience and was clearly the better suited applicant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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