One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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knock, , knock , who's there the gas man the gas man who ? the gas man who is gonna turn your gas off !

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What happens when a bunch of animals break into your house... they eat you.

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dat shoe shine tho

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Your mama sucks so much dick, it's not funny.

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find the o 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duh its up top

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A shark ate your mom

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whats 7+4? 74

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Those who believe that Sarah Palin is dumb are living in some fantasyland. She could damn well speak as much as anyone else!

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What follows 2 days of rain? Statistically more rain, but you'll have to check the weather report to be sure.

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Q:Whats the difference between NBC and the NBA? A: The NBA is the National Basketball Assocation and NBC is The No Body Cares.

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Knock knock Whos there your son your son who holy shit dad just let me in

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What did Selena Gomez say to JB? We're breaking up cuz u smell like French fries and you look like a poop

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What did the parents say to their kid? You're adopted and we don't love you.

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why did the man have a hole in his face? because syphillis had eaten a hole in it

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so if your riding down a big hill in your canoe and your bicycle falls out how many pancakes do you have left? you would have 200 pancakes left --sticksack

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't.

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What's black and hangs from my tree? A black man. I am a racist.

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Man one: Why does the moon look like a face? Man two: I don't know, why? Man one: I don't know either, that's why i asked....

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Why did Justin Bieber wake up Lady Gaga? He needed to ask her a question.

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? Using teamwork and coordination, each can place one foot on the seat of the stool, and using each other for balance and support, they can all stand on the stool. The fact that they are gay is irrelevant.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and says nothing to the man running the stand. Realizing that the duck might potentially keep patrons from approaching the stand, he packs up and moves elsewhere.

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Why did the Chinese family eat a dog? Because they were poor and starving refugees.

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I am in love with pizza. It was a friday night and i was hanging around with my so called friends 'banana-rama' 'pearman' and 'peaches' (keep in mind these are all fruit). I ordered a pizza from Poker Pizza and it came an hour later i brung it to my kitchen and i opened the box. It was lovely. I eat it, i soon realized that I had eat my one true love and decided to order another pizza.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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