Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by a bus

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I wear my sunglasses at night. I'm always getting into car accidents.

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Bläeghen-Fassybìll-No?cheb!

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Why did Gary have severe learning difficulties? Because his mother drank a lot of alcohol while she was pregnant, and it harmed his development significantly.

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Why did Fred fall off the bike? He was a shoe.

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Why did the cop hate black people? He was a racist.

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A plane crashes in a polish cemetery the authorities have found 2000 bodies

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Knock Knock Who's there? John John who? John Williams.

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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What's big, red and delicious? A prune. I lied about it being big, red and delicious.

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How do you get Jake snow to shut up? Say shut up

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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What's white and black and red all over A nun with a spear throug her head

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How many Japanese people does it take to make a whirlpool? - None, because they're all dead.

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Why was the door opened? Because I opened it

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Why did the chicken cross the road. ... It didn't.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was hit by a fridge halfway through walking.

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Q: What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? A: The wheel chair.

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What do you call a blonde who passed the SAT's? An excellent student.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, Who had an average-sized penis he only used during monogamous sex with his spouse.

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Why did the redneck leave his wife? To marry his daughter.

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What did superman say when he flew into a building? Flying is inhumanly possible unless in an aircraft vehicle.

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What did the blind, deaf and dumb lady name her kid? Sebastion.

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Why do deer have horns? Because god made them that way.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops